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The Sun

I'm tired and I'm scared, for your presence not being there
and now i realize you've never been there from the beginning.
You question my actions,
I lo-ave your movement.
Seeing your face now makes me sick,
I can't bear it anymore.
I don't want this and you don't want this,
and I'm sick of twisting your words,
as you twist my soul.
So why didn't I leave you long ago?
because my heart was afraid to show,
true feelings.
Maybe i was wrong, maybe i was blinded by the sun.
Which is ugly and rotten to all its surroundings.
But its because you never told the truth,
you never said you were sorry,
and you never loved me.
And when I should of walked away,
I forgave instead,
and rotted my insides.

A contest entry

What do you think?

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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Manic Reverie
    April 20

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    I can relate to this two, you have a way with words that I wish I could throw into some of my poetry. You're awesome Gilby ^^.


  • wonderbandalice
    July 8, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    "Maybe I was wrong, maybe I was blinded by the sun" I like the line.


  • x-Black-Butterfly-x gold member
    June 30, 2008

    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to All Poetry

    you ahve palced a lot of thought and imagery within this piece and it expresses what you feel.I love the descriptive language and the flow of it and it really did have a deep feeling of sorrow and sadness that some readers will be able to connect to.it also has a sense of mystery, such as that you have explained it but not opened it up fully which allows the reader to wonder and think about it. well done and best of luck

    Charlotte
    Site Greeter


  • greyhaime silver member
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    welcome to allpoetry

    This is a good entry for the contest, I think you have some good thoughts here, but maybe need to express it a bit more, or it is that you are too close to the subject to let it come out properly, some times that is the case.
    thanks for sharing this with us here and for joining the site,keep on writing.
    cheers
    Grey
    Site Greeter


  • Mistress Masquerade
    June 29, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Hmm... The emotion seems almost ghostly, like you're holding it back. The words are strong but for some reason to me it seems pale. I liked the imagery though, my feelings on this one are mixed. I wish you the best of luck and thank you for entering.

1 - 5 of 5