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when you pick up speed and fill me
with clouds, suddenly the sky
is mine.

there’s a dark window in your eyes
through which my face disappears:
dove, dove, dove, tame dove, 

wild dove blindly cooing

something between

afrikaans and high german. your mouth
opens around me:  you’re a white planet
of flesh barking at the stars,
true full moon style.
clearly,

we are not precise. these bodies
carry marks of close shaves
and survival – narrower in places,
wider elsewhere.

we are firm-free. I keep hearing
a rumble of poems in your wrists, imagine
there are feathers growing
from my arms.  regularly

we act out death, always till the last
word, the last blurring of language
in your throat and mine.  our love
lies scattered in many rooms

but our shoes always point
towards the bed 

 

and our sighing, our sighing,
rises to one height.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

blame this on some guy....

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 79 of 79

  • Allyce May
    July 18

    Edit | Reply
    I always come and read one of your love poems when I feel the urge to write one of my own

  • mmmmm and sigh...i love the beauty of it...if making love is always as beautiful as this...whoa! splendid!

    you just had me with this one

    "when you pick up speed and fill me
    with clouds, suddenly the sky
    is mine."

    with just this alone
    it already felt heaven...

    ah i just love every part of it
    you make me long for this kind of love

    so i go to smile at "blame this on some guy...." lol

    and what made me long so much more of this kind of love
    is when you ended it with

    "but our shoes always point
    towards the bed where our sighing
    rises to one height."

    every word is like the sigh that speaks of love

    Anna Lee










    • Nicolette gold member
      July 18
      Edit | Reply
      Oh wow, Anna Lee - thank you, lovely one for such a lovely comment. Always wonderful to see your name on my pages
  • mimiagatha
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    you can never go wrong, be at fault, err... whichever the words or the subject or words applied to the subject. you are perfect, this poem is perfect. not your style? EVERY style is a poet’s style, if the poet is a... real poet. you are.


    • Nicolette gold member
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      reading your comments always lifts me... thank you, joe. good to see you here on my pages again

  • MariGoes gold member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    I always finish reading your poems with a big smile on my face. You know how to touch beauty and expand it through your words. This poem of yours gives a sense of warmth and coziness, simply lovely

  • Sonja silver member
    July 13

    Edit | Reply
    Don't, really don't know what to say. I came here again to say - between all of your poems this one has a special shine.
    ~Sonja~
  • grm
    July 12

    Edit | Reply
    for some reason, the song "Twist and Shout" comes to mind while reading this. but perhaps that's only because i'm a tad bit like the wild dove myself.


    hmm...i think i'd award this gold, too



    • Nicolette gold member
      July 13
      Edit | Reply
      hmmm...."twist and shout" is acceptable to me - i know the wild dove response very well


  • Ho74pp1eP1e
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    Some guys huh? hummmmmm lovely story, sensual in it's need. Good luck and ah a gold already, well done.

  • Thank you for your beautifully penned entry, good luck in my contest, Josie

  • Angelflower Greeters member
    July 10

    Edit | Reply
    beautiful.. You did such a wonderful job with this.. It was so soft and peaceful.. I loved the rhythm and flow of this.. The imagery was just so vivid and full of love.. Your words just pour forth lots of it.. I'm really amazed by this write actually..


    The love that you feel here is just a beautiful creation.. Place the blame on love and yet never regret it.. thank you very much for sharing this beautiful piece with us and congrats on the Gold..
    Very much deserving of it..

    Angel
  • Blame it on love For this just pours forth, that sweet wine of words that says 'with you I am complete'. Love to sigh over how you describe it. Love, C

    . Rewarded 4


  • myron silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    This is a very beautiful poem, breath-taking in its use of vivid imagery and full of metaphoric resonance.

    It is very difficult to write good love poetry as it's usually spoiled with too much sentimentality; the same goes for sensual poetry, which is often written with cliched language and ideas.

    But your piece here is excellent and ticks all the boxes of what is often considered the epitome of good, lasting poetry. No wonder you received a gold trophy.

    Well done Nicolette!

    The very best to you,
    Myron.

    . Rewarded 8


  • DogFish silver member
    July 9
    Edit | Reply

    sound like peacocks !

    ...a very different love song!



  • Cvillelisa
    July 9

    Edit | Reply


    Been a long time since I've commented on a Nicolette poem -- still full of love and exotic images I see.

    I am not particularly fond of the last stanza -- I rather like ending my reading of this on the "our love lies scattered" line.
    But that's just me.

    Love poems, for me, are much too personal for any real poetry critiquing.. so I flit off here wishing you much happiness and thanking you for a peek into your world.

    Lisa

    . Rewarded 8

  • On some guy that inspires beauty, sensuality and just plain greatness.

    What I have always admired about your writing is the soft subtle sensuality that is woven within the words.

    This is truly beautiful writing.

    . Rewarded 4

  • Phenominal

    This is truely awe inspiring. Well done


  • Iloveugh
    July 6

    Edit | Reply
    Great i liked this alot my favorite part was when you said "there’s a dark window in your eyes
    through which my face disappears:
    dove, dove, dove, tame dove,

    wild dove blindly cooing

    something between

    afrikaans and high german. your mouth
    opens around me: you’re a white planet
    of flesh barking at the stars,
    true full moon style.
    clearly," that was worded so very good
  • oh wow this was so beautiful it was amazing... It was so simple and so pure but so much more.... I loved it and cannot wait to see more.

    when you pick up speed and fill me
    with clouds, suddenly the sky
    is mine.

    there’s a dark window in your eyes
    through which my face disappears:
    dove, dove, dove, tame dove,

    wild dove blindly cooing
    something between

    the beginning was my favorite part i can see the clouds and the dove and all these beautiful images that you so easily place in the mind of the readers... I loved it. It was a gold trophy much deserved

  • Sonja silver member
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    As always, as always, nothing less, always more... and more of beauty.
    ~Sonja~


  • Swan song gold member
    July 4
    Edit | Reply
    Very very beautiful and congrats on the gold well deserved

  • Virgoan
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    I haven't read any of your work lately and reading you again my friend makes my day complete. The imagery and the stellar words just keeps me pausing from beginning to end (taking a deep breath).

    Excellent and a well deserve win

  • om my gosh, you've just flattened me here on the rug!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! indeed, your beauty does shine through!!!! you make me wanna be a better human being with this poem. ...a better writer as well . Congrads on the Gold!!! You deserve it many times over!!!! take care always,
    ~pithyAplomb.


    • Nicolette gold member
      July 3
      Edit | Reply
      Lololol - hope you don't stay down there all day Thank you for the lovely comment and the smiles!!
  • Ohhhh, pretty poetess! An enigmatic dove, you are. But every feather is a treasure; your poems are proof. The last blurring of language creates a many- roomed mansion, each with a river in its midst, but I think you probably end on the rooftop, for the vistas of love and music we see through your eyes.

    ...lovely vineyards, laughterfull and moonlight
  • Yes, yes, I've been away for too long, but this was something amazing to come back to. This poem made my heart all flutter-like.

    'I keep hearing
    a rumble of poems in your wrists, imagine
    there are feathers growing
    from my arms.'

    Loved it.

    ~Cassie

  • Good stuff

    It's the shoes, the pointing shoes. Ahhhh, those shoes seal the deal.

    The acting out of death, the last blurring of language, the scattering of love - great ideas well formed.

    But it's those shoes.

    Thanks for this.


  • Jersene silver member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply
    beautiful penning!

  • hehe, on some guy huh



    This is beautiful, Nicci, glad to see you still have your ability to enlist sighs.





  • Oh, wow. The power of this...the sensuality...and the words to describe such are magnificent. Exceptional poet, you are. Exceptional poetry, this is.

    Oh, I haven't yet learned the words to describe how wonderful this is. If I knew them, I doubt I could grasp them after reading this.

    It's mindblowing that I cannot describe something so wonderful. Oh, most excellent!

    (OF COURSE IT WON GOLD!)


  • ArtFullyMe gold member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply


  • CaliOkie silver member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Talent you have in trainloads riding over the track of your skill which runs straight and shiny to the horizon. This could be no more perfect. You knocked the wind out of me, drained the blood from my face. My near death experience with this poem is an inspiration. How you come up with the wonderful phrases. You are plugged in to the universal mega-muse that rules over all the other puny muses we mortals contend with. You are the Goddess of Poetry.

    The previous comment says it best: PERFECT!

    Garrison


  • MariGoes gold member
    June 30
    Edit | Reply
    Perfect!


  • Pretani gold member
    June 30

    Edit | Reply
    Ohhh my! There is some great imagery here Nicolette! (As always). This reads like an epic. By that, I don't mean it's too long - I mean it is timeless. IT could be read a thousand years from now and still be understood the same.

    Stand out lines for me are:

    "we are not precise. these bodies
    carry marks..."

    "our love
    lies scattered in many rooms

    but our shoes always point
    towards the bed where our sighing
    rises to one height."

    Whoever the 'guy' was - glad he inspired (?) you to write this!

    H


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 30
      Edit | Reply
      Wow, thank you, Heath! I don't often write these "epic" ones but every now and then it feels good to do something different. Glad you enjoyed it

  • celestial – the map of these hands
    held the suns and above
    the moonlight
    satins grown - brighter
    through telescopic shadows
    spun night and candles shiver
    the silence howled


  • Night Hope gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    "we are not precise. these bodies
    carry marks of close shaves
    and survival – narrower in places,
    wider elsewhere."

    I love this entire poem & the entire Scribe that wrote it. Gorgeousness doesn't even come close, my dear Friend. Brilliant doesn't do you justice, either. Good luck in Trina's contest, Sweetie. Roses for the Lady. Brava!!!




    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Vlindertjie...for all the kind words and the roses (wish they had a howl emoticon here), lolol

  • Night Hope gold member
    June 29
    Edit | Reply

    <

    Yep, he's "some Guy", alright.

  • Namita silver member
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    beautifully MARVELLOUS


  • arafura
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    Keep the shoes pointed towards the bed... Great work poet!


  • AJ Morelli gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    wow this is really nice Nic...

    "...the last blurring of language
    in your throat and mine..."

    is a wonderful line

    i agree with Mary on the edits and I think they make this more gentle and beautiful to my "foreign" ears...

    perfect for the contest theme too


    al


  • Rowan gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    glad you changed howling to sighing, it's more Nicolette.
    This is a bit different from your usual, but I like the effect 'some guy' is having on you. lol.
    Excellent!


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      lolol yes, a bit different but i was trying out something new; strange that people think i can't howl . Thanks, Kathleen

  • Nicolette gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply

    <

    this is indeed a long one for me, liefie and a long time since i wrote a poem of this length....but you're too blame - in more ways than one

    yes, as long as you understand the language, then i'm happy but i'm not above "learning"

    thanks, liefste
    lief vir jou


  • ardentMarch gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    "our love
    lies scattered in many rooms"

    I love this...so beautiful..


  • Allyce May
    June 29
    Edit | Reply
    This is sooooo lovely, Nic I may be blushing! Everything about it is so soft yet at the same time raw and powerful, if that makes sense. In all honesty, I don't like "howling" at the end. It reminds me of wild dogs and children throwing tantrums, but if you were going for something untamed and animalistic then it does work - it just seems out of context with all your clouds and doves and white. That is merely my humble opinion though! I do like the hard edge in this poem though; the shaving and rumbling and death. You've caputred both sides of your, errr, topic Heh heh!

    It is wonderful though


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      You know, i actually had "shouting" instead of howling...do you think shouting fits better? Thanks, Allyce - I appreciate your opinion

      • Allyce May
        June 29
        Edit | Reply
        I think that is an improvement I also had "calling" in mind, though I'm not sure it would have the desired effect as shouting does.


  • Mallig gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked this, the repetition of doves, the blurring of languages, acting out death, these images were so compelling. I also loved the "rumble of poems in your wrists", and also the "feathers growing
    in my armpits" linking to the doves. Wonderful!


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Mallig. Glad you could see the linkage between the feathers and doves - it made most people giggle, lol.

  • Cat gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    nic,

    what i have always loved about your poetry is that it is so uniquely your own- each little image is gently placed in your poetry like a careful gardener or artist

    while this is nice- you are morphing poetic styles somewhat- while it's nice but i would hate to see you lose your signature ways in favor of some rather thrown together images- (not that these are) - but in the style of such poets who sorta just throw as many images against a page to see which stick... some of the images here seem half-hazard

    for instance the feathers in the armpits though (sorta made me giggle).. or the part where he is pumping you- not sure if you know the translation for pumping you in english but it is a leud, not pretty expression- if that is what you were going for then

    or a white planet of flesh barking- when do planets bark?...

    but that said... i love the dove, dove dove- that is stunning- and a rumble of poems in the wrist is very nice too

    and the close shaves wider and narrower

    some nice language throughout..

    please feel free to delete my comment- I just made a pact with a couple folks to be more honest in my thoughts on poetry on this board- but you made no such pact to have to listen..



    hugs,
    Mary


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      Mary, why would I delete such a great comment. Please feel free to give honest comments - i welcome it! Yes, I've changed the "pumping" lolol - guess i was thinking in Afrikaans there . the "feathers" links with the dove image, hopefully, lol. I agree about my signature style but i do like to venture into something new....but i will always return to what is called "my style".

      thanks - i appreciate the time you took

  • Peteskid gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    This is beautiful, expression, passion, deep caring...a wonderful portrayl a feast for thoughts and senses here...PK


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    Absolutely perfect poetry. Loved it. I agree with James; then again, I usally do. Sexual without being overtly so. I also love the images you wove into this piece. Thank you for taking the time.


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you, Trina - and for waiting

      • Faithbound gold member
        June 29
        Edit | Reply
        Thank you for letting me know you were interested. When I know good poetry is going to come I'll wait with patient anticipation every time. Thank you for the time you took to write for me.

        • Nicolette gold member
          June 29
          Edit | Reply
          I edited one or two lines...to keep it sensual, but more subtely so Thanks again for providing the inspiration

  • apples fell gold member
    June 29

    Edit | Reply

    I love the repetition of "dove" in that second stanza. Your poem beginning with the clouds and the pumping...All very sexual to me, without being overtly or absolutely sexual. If that was not your intention, forgive me. But that's how I read it at least.

    "feathers growing in your armpits", this made me kind of laugh. Not sure that was intentional either, but I love it. Then right after this image though comes a very powerful line involving death. The two images create a sort of paradox that I find strong as well as fascinating.

    I find a lot of sensual stuff on here to just be hardcore pornography and though there is nothing wrong with that, I prefer the softer speech, like yours. The ending is strong. You can see the scene but it's not all sweaty and filled with lust. It is contemplative and honestly tender.

    How this poem makes me feel is like this:

    "I am a feather
    tossed into sleep
    always revolving
    slower
    above the retinas
    a beautiful pause of rhythm
    my wings a sheer
    passing of bristle edges
    here in your clutch
    a falcon
    one nail caught
    in your poise"

    .....

    Thank you for this love.

    Truly great.

    ;


    • Nicolette gold member
      June 29
      Edit | Reply
      That is one of your poems? If so, then it's so very beautiful and tender that I want to steal it! I do like writing sensual poetry and in a softer voice - there is indeed no art in writing hardcore pornography. Thank you, dear one for your very sharp poetic eye - and just for being you.

      • apples fell gold member
        June 29
        Edit | Reply

        Yep. That's mine. I wrote it just now, on your piece. It's what it inspired. That happens rarely, but sometimes, it just does.

        You are very welcome. I try to leave you good comments and, when I can, suggestions, but really, this is perfect. You stuff is always so reserved and created with a contrast of vocabulary, meets gentle understanding.

        Thank you for being you, as well.



        • Nicolette gold member
          June 29
          Edit | Reply
          Amazing!! You always leave such great comments - that is how I got to know you.... thank you

          • apples fell gold member
            June 29
            Edit | Reply

            Well thank you love. And so do you. I don't think there has ever been a moment where I have said otherwise, when you comment.


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