Years ago whenever you went somewhere with a crowd
The problem that faced most women was the standing in a queue
But that problem has been fixed by some wonderful inventor
The person who invented the humble, compact port-a-loo
An ingenious design with everything so compact and neat
The little sink, the toilet, and the lever you pull to flush
They all stand there in lines, noble side by side
And because there are so many, you never need to rush
Do you remember being out somewhere with your parents as a kid
And you would cry out in despair ‘Mummy I really have to go’
She’d get so grumpy and angry saying ‘can’t you just hold on’
Then you stood in line for ages, no wonder she screamed Noooooooo!!!
The most frustrating thing about it was the men’s never had a line
They’d breeze in, do their thing, and never ever have to hold
The architect of public showgrounds was undoubtedly a man
He was hell bent on torturing women, well that is what I'm told
But things have surely changed, I’m sure a woman’s been put in charge
Of organizing ablutions at any public function, tour or show
So hence the hiring of the many wonderful uni-sex port-a-loos
The inventor of these magic boxes, so many accolades I bestow
Oh… the port-a-loo is magic, the most wonderful plastic box
It doesn’t even matter whether it’s number one or number two
There’s no more standing around hopping with legs crossed
As nearby standing proudly there’s nearly always a port-a-loo
So a salute to all those involved in this wonderful invention
The queue of frantic women are now a memory of the past
The wonderful plastic box, the universal symbol of relief
Now I’m sure is an invention that forever is going to last
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You have again shown that no subject is beyond the reach of a skilled wordsmith. Of course, the pleasantness of a port-a-loo is largely dependent on the hygiene habits of those who have used it before you, and the strength of the deodorizer installed by the owner.
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Well I must admit the porta-loos at the Gidgeganup Field Day last Sunday, were the Rolls Royces of porta loos! and obviously Aussies are very considerate porta-loo uses because even by the end of the day they were in top condition, despite the fact it had be raining all day and everyone was muddy.
Awwwwwww, Bethy just made Justin some vegemite toast and said that the vegemite might have some 'GLUMPS' because she can't spread it very well!!! what a cutie!! and such a brilliant new word. -
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I've always had Aussie-envy because you all seem so damn cool, rugged, adventurous, natural, fun-loving, etc. And now that you've told me they keep their port-a-loo's clean, my AES is full-blown. (Aussie Envy Syndrome.) Porta-potties (what we call them in the U.S.) are giant petri dishes that you need a haz-mat suit to go into. Do you know of any jobs over there I could fill? I'm outta here.
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very good
lots of fun to read
i'm surprised you didn't get "when nature calls..." in there
lol
i think the best aspect is the content that this is, in a sense, a unique issue
but something everyone can identify with
i know it's an issue for years here in nyc
and
finally, yeah, 2008,
they have a contract with whoever to put them in 10. 20 locations in the city
of course, it is a work work in progress
lol
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Yes it is a problem everyone can i.d. with, It always annoyed me that they didn't build twice as many ladies loos as mens in public places, but now they just bring in the port-a-loos and then take them away whenever the event is over WONDERFUL!! Thanks for you comment, I'm glad you enjoyed my poem, I had loads of fun writing it.
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I hope you have seen the movie 'Kenny' - the most famous Porta-Loo man in Australia? Hilarious! they are a wonderful invention I suppose as I've always managed NOT to have to use one. I never though I would see an Ode to one though. I think you had your tongue in your cheek as you wrote this!
Von
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No I haven't seen Kenny, I was given a copy which is knocking about the house somewhere but I've never had a chance to watch it, I'll have to find it. I was a little tounge in cheek, but I was out on Sunday with my 3 kids and the thought flashed into my head how the numerous toilet trips would have been a nightmare years ago when there was always a line for the ladies loos, and how great it was that there was a line of port-a-loos there, hence my poem!
Thanks for your comment, I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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