I take it in my hand and squeeze
ever gently so to please
feel release to pressure light
and giving forth thick milky white
with steady motion I work it wet
up and down the tingle's set
across my lips, teeth and tongue
a lesson learned when I was young
soon the time is to begin
to clean this mess left on my chin
but I can wait there's no real rush
first I'll rinse my new toothbrush
Author notes
Darkwell - Liz
A contest entry
- Notice the unnoticed by Dienush.
900 points, ended July 18, 2008, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - For those of you in love with your pre-writes :) by thepoetsings.
950 points, ended July 15, 2008, 39 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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LOL!!!!!!!!!!
This is one of those poems that make me think of corny riddles that when you tell them everyone thinks wrong like what's long and hard and full of sea men? A submarine! But its much more clever and decieving i love it! -
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what's long and hard and full of sea men? a submarine
OMG thats awesome i gotta tell that one
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okay, the last line of the second stanza is rather disturbing to me. Except for that, this poem is rather yummy and has a lot of passionate imagery, though the rhyming is quite predictable and I think this could have been done in a more unique way. The poem is expressive, but it becomes too obvious. On the other hand, we weren't exactly looking for erotica, because lots of people write it, but thanks for your entry
~Diana
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Hmmm...that was not about what I thought it was about. I just don't really know what to say... I mean, it's clever. But I'm just trying to decide whether it should be marked adult or not. And I can't make out at all what I think.
Congrats for stumping me.
Thanks for entering
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A good return!
Great write!
Thanks for sharing.
Regards,
Jennifer
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I reread this poem and I still love it. It's just one of your best.
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I think you found your own personal style, Darkwell. Lol. Twisted poems with layers of meaning. You know what's funny? When I first read it I thought it was about a baby breast feeding. I really like it though. It has great rythm and flow and love the imagery. Your rhymes are really even, too. Keep up the good writes, I love reading them!
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made me laugh out loud: funny how different our mornings are
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Haha, I thought you were talking about giving something to someone until I got to the end and was like, oh wait. :-/
You were right, it was naughty but clean.
Aweomse. Very nicely written.
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Naughty you, making a mess like that!
And I see how "clean" it all is.
Nice work, I enjoyed it. Real funny.
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