ale on the
back porch. "it
sure has been
raining a lot
lately". you
scratch your
chin, lean in
on an elbow,
say nothing.
it is a lick-
your-fingers
delectable awkwardness
that warns me
to stop talking.
to quit breathing
so quickly.
but damn it
all to hell.
I keep the
mosquitoes out of
my ears by cupping
my hands over them
c-shaped. I can
hear the ocean
over your
moans.
my heels scuff
wood as they
work the swing,
sometimes skimming
my big toe over
the blue mat.
"don't do that please"
and then it's
still again and
not the second child
you'd always
wanted. not a boy
to name christopher
or jack-something-or-other.
I wipe my
nose on my
sleeve, whisper
"'m sorry".
and "it
sure has been
raining a lot
lately".
Author notes
still working on it
A contest entry
- The Crime of Complacency by onerios13.
2700 points, ended July 11, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Mmmm...I love back porch conversations...and this was so wonderfully subtle. Like a drizzle that surprises your hand when you notice, hey, why am I all wet? lol
and then it's
still again and
not the second child
you'd always
wanted. not a boy
to name christopher
or jack-something-or-other.
This stanza made me want to grab a blackmask, a flashlight and lockpick.
Yes...deeply enjoyable.
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working on it or not, this was fantastic. The flow from stanzas is what is most appealing to me, though the story here plays a close second to that. Such feelings evoked here. Beautiful
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Thanks Nic. That means a lot coming from you.
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good story telling and rich with the tenseness of that delectable awkwardness you mention.
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thanks ea. Who is that in your picture by the way? I've always wanted to know.
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It's Rembrandt laughing.
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