I’ve taken this journey
So many times.
I have begun to count how many
Steps there are between each wall
I pass.
[Trying to listen to them while they
Sing
My tired eyes Closed.]
I plead for the darkness to swallow me whole,
Begging
That my foul presence did not force
The monster to purge me
Back up to the surface.
[Though, in a sense I kind of liked the way
The acid burned my skin as I traveled
Back up.]
T h e r e ’ s n o s y m p a t h y f o r t h e d e a d.
I still spend my nights sitting up in bed,
With my arms
Curled
Around my knees and my heart
Struggling just to keep my blood flowing.
And my eyes consistently screaming
For closure, for
Sleep-inducing drugs or
Pain to knock me far down enough to
[Black out] until morning.
Every time I stared through a window, or
Into a mirror,
More dust seemed to have accumulated.
[Was I really missing so much?]
It’s getting harder to see
Myself
Or what’s left of me;
Harder to see what is on the
Other side of
That window pane.
I know I’m not quite
Sane
Now, finally reached the point where
It gets “so [bad?] that I finally know
What I’m doing to myself.”
I don’t fall as the victim of
These petty accidents, hell,
I create them.
Ripping open the scabs and melting
More scars
Onto my skin, I keep pretending that
It’s all an accident.
My [existence] is an
Accident.
I dream about the same things
Over
&&
Over;
Images faithfully coming back
Each time my eyes shut.
And the same words--
“Where’s the stop button?
The release?
Please
Make
It
Stop.
It hurts but it can’t be fixed.
Ican’tbesaved.”
Y o u c a n ’ t b e s a v e d.
I’ve seen&felt too much.
These feet have counted
Too many stairs and
These hands have inflicted
Too many wounds.
H a v e I t o l d y o u y e t ?
Some nights I wake up
Screaming in pain with
Slash marks
Along my back
[Streaking blood
Across the white sheets]
With no whip
To make the wounds and
Nobody ever present. [but... me.]
So those (special) nights I
Do not sleep but stay up
Making sure I still
Appeared innocent.
Because those mysterious wounds
Couldn’t possibly be
Something to be proud of.
This isn’t how it should be.
♥
Author notes
I'm ContagiousXAccident
1. uncomfortable in my skin
The title... well thanks to Escape The Fate for inspiring me. That's all I can say.
I don't feel okay; I'm not okay. I don't think I ever will be. Today was the day I think I finally realized that I'm not normal.
At all.
[Never fall
Asleep
You won't.
Wake up.]
Fuck.
A contest entry
- Is Dirty Pretty a Lost Cause? by Hell In Harmony.
6500 points, ended July 22, 2008, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - (Un)Comfortable in my Skin or I will (not) be fine by ixtli.
450 points, ended July 12, 2008, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Raw Emotion by x meerz.
500 points, ended July 28, 2008, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
---->Can'tbereal
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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I understand my dearest.
I accepted that about myself just a few weeks ago and realized that i can't fight it anymore.
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These feet have counted
Too many stairs and
These hands have inflicted
Too many wounds.
nice.
the last line hit hard too
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Beautiful. Such powerful imagery. I like this poem a lot. Good luck in the contest and thanks for entering!
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i love escape the fate they inspire me a lot too. i love how you used the title and the few lines from their songs like: theres no sympathy for the dead to complete your write. i think it tied it all together nicely.
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wow
wow this is amzing it came from a dark place or it seems like that..but wow i luv it..u are realyl good...this is wow im in a mood 2 question things and these causes more which is a good thing..all i can really say is wow..it was good -
I kinda enjoyed that it wasn't as dirty pretty as your others. I like that a lot more. Dirty pretty sometimes just feels fake. I liked this, and I had a similar realization not too long ago. Since then I was able to focus on myself and better myself. I'm a lot happier. Try thinking about Why exactly you feel the things you do.
-
Wow, I like the piece...
and if you ever want to talk, I am here, no one is normal... -
I don't know what to say
T h e r e ’ s n o s y m p a t h y f o r t h e d e a d.
Good song. Good band. This isn't dirty pretty though, and I was kinda bored and felt like it dragged on too long. Some parts were good though.
Thanks
Kat -
FANTASTICAL
This is beautiful
It really shows how you're feeling lately
I also like the voice in here. It really feels like your talking instead of just reading a poem. Cause you know how sometimes you read something but its flat?
This has a voice?
Do I sound crazy???
Anyways I really like this one. I think its one of my favorites.
ILY
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This was beautiful!
My favorite part was definitely:
Every time I stared through a window, or
Into a mirror,
More dust seemed to have accumulated.
[Was I really missing so much?]
It’s getting harder to see
Myself
Or what’s left of me;
Harder to see what is on the
Other side of
That window pane.
This was F-a-n-t-a-s-t-i-c!
ily
♥[Katee]♥
-
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aww thanks darling. the comment means a lot to me.
i wanted to write something good. so all I can say is I tried my best.
ily too.
-
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