Inevitable expansion of consciousness
boasts feminine bravado,
fictional chains link inklings of
diminished dichotomy,
only once touched; ruined
butterfly wings lay useless,
oppression can subtly seep
through generational gaps
you can paint the kettle
but it will always be black.
Tormented with wings to fly
but retrospective reasoning
knows they were never
really mine; with
no sky in sight
why even hold head high
contemplation leaves only
conformity or calamity
shackled symmetry draws the
divide, either feign
a tippy toed ballerina
or get in line.
Author notes
inspired by this :
http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u131/rosedarkthorn/Pictures/Dark/36.jpg
A contest entry
- Reserve and Wait by Rose Dark Thorn.
1200 points, ended July 2, 2008, 16 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS 4 by Swan song.
2500 points, ended October 25, 2008, 36 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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You have written a poem that does not make my job easy Excellent !
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Wow.... this is beautiful, melancholy... a fantastic write and well worthy of the trophy!! Well done!
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Great take on the picture prompt!
this poem is one you want to take your time to enjoy
how you to fastened it together...many lines speak
bold dark truths...
your ending was superb....either feign a tippy toe
ballerina
or get in line.
Congrats on the Well-deserved Gold!
ears/Seattle BRAVO! BRAVO!
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Your words have so much depth that one must read this work several times before beginning to scratch the surface. It stands well on its own, yet it is enhanced by the picture as well. Your words bloom a blackened rose and leaves the reader with a feeling of hopelessness, drowning in the crowd of heated expectations of the world and being weighed down.
You did a wonderful job with this picture, truly a wonderful piece.
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I'm going to forget the prompt picture here and just relate to the poem if that's okay... yes? ... Thanks.
The main impression I receive from this is that it's totally to do with identity. The attempts to adopt likenesses can temporarily cover up what is felt to be missing, with people so inclined or even susceptible to having such images put on them by others. Here I read no such acceptance, which does you great credit!
I read that you are as you are at the end of the day and I believe that this is the highest and greatest happiness we can find, through discovery and acceptance of our own truth and nothing else.
The last stanza... my response is, change what is contemplated, knowing that the universes are your 'oysters' and where ever you look, if it's with your honest eye, you will see nothing but reflections of your own real mystery of true identity.
All the best to you with your aspirations and your talent as a poet, which as ever, I find highly admirable.
Sol
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love it......oh..you are boldly back!
you know I was just writing along these lines..we must
be having the same karma floating around....I love yours
much better!
love that Tormented with wings to fly
but retrospective reasoning
and fictional chains link inklings of
diminished dichotomy,
contemplation leaves only
conformity or calamity
oh dear...i'm copying the whole poem...i guess you
could say.......I really enjoyed your POEM!!!
way to write...welcome back...you are Powerfully
electrifying all of us!
ears/Seattle
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http://i167.photobucket.com/albums/u131/rosedarkthorn/Pictures/Dark/36.jpg
If this one doesn't work for you, let me know, and I will give you one more.
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