Eyelids down and I know it's time
To lay awake and your face admire
Just when someone dream by your side
You can say your hearts are tightly tied
Your chest moves in the rhythm of your peace
And when you shiver in sleep stress you relieve
When someone surrender to night in your arms
You know you got him under love charms
If he frowns or laughs while asleep
If he hides emotions or if he weeps
All you know because he agreed
In sharing his world most deep
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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This is sweet. It's not stalkerlike and it's well-written. I like the flow too. Great write!
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Very nice! I like the romantic undertones to your poem, keeping it from sounding "stalker-ish" as some have. I didn't find any parts akward. My favorite part was the last stanza. It's almost as if you are in love with this person, but when they sleep and you can openly admire them it's like your falling in love all over again. Beautiful write.
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This is beautiful. This has a wonderful flow and beautiful expression of emotion. I liked the part of hearts being tied. It seemed to describe the connection two people feel when in love. Thanks for sharing and keep that pen flowing.
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Oh. THis is a nice little poem that you have going on here. It sounds like your in the middle of being in love with someone. Or maybe you're just daydreaming of what it would be like to be in love with the perfect guy for you. I think that this is really sweet and uplifting for couples to read. You did a good job of expressing yourself.
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