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Bastille Day

Missing image
Lady Liberte raises her torch,
to gaurdian angels passing by.
Mutually respecting the gift,
the achievement of independence,
celebrated on the 14th day of July.

Author notes

This is picture is perfect for representing the nations celebrating indepedence in the month of July.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments


  • Keith
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Nice wee poem. But how about guardian? Just to polish it up a wee bit.
    Well done.


  • Mairi bheag gold member
    July 22, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I'm going to go out on a limb here, and opine that at sundry times the existence of France has been threatened by invasion, occupation, and intervention; and so I would tolerate the use of the word "independence". I can see that you didn't want to repeat Liberté/liberty, however. Maybe "freedom" would have done?

    Still - a little gem, and a worthy bronze.

  • Vera Rich gold member
    July 16, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for your entry... Neat and to the point...

    The only thing I would say is that the 14 juillet flypasts in Paris used - at least when I was there - to have red-white-and-blue vapour trails. (And I am not sure whether these aircraft really ARE French... I have to admit that I do not easily recognize some of the most modern types!)

    And - on reading it over again, I just wonder if "independence" IS REALLY the correct word for 14 juillet celebrations. The "Liberte" that one celebrates that day is the freedom of the citizens from arbitrary rule (in effect, from feudalism)- not primarily from foreign domination. (I rather think that this poem was recycled from a USA July 4 tribute... Well, fine... but if "independence" has been replaced by "liberty" it would have been just that little bit better. Remember - the famous Delacroix painting is "Liberty leading the people!" - and the statue that the French gave to the USA is the "statue of LIBERTY" - not Independence...)

    And - by the way, you have a typo... it should be "guardian"... Easy enough to do when you are in a hurry...

    I shall try to get the competition judged by Friday - but I am not feeling very well today, so may not be able to manage it...

    But PLEASE - if you want bonus points wait until the results are announced before commenting on other people's work.


  • Sweet Impatience gold member
    June 28, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem a lot.. great job..

    good luck in the contest my lover

    kat