No, I say,
I cannot eat it now.
The slices are too big.
They will not fit
into my half-mouth.
And look -
They have grown,
matured as they
marinade themselves
in all of your words.
Yes, look! Look there,
the food is swimming!
No, even more,
I cannot eat it now.
The slices are big,
and the knife poisoned.
You'd be killing me.
And you do. So perhaps
I will kill you, too.
Author notes
This is the anger/pessimism piece - but apparently when it's read, it reads more sad and desperate. It also fits into the whole thing about others being indifferent and feeling alone, particularly with the last line as nobody would say it if someone were listening or paying attention, instead of pretending. If you're not satisfied, I understand if you wanna DQ
A contest entry
- Desperation leaks through imaginary happiness... by Clinging-to-Life.
800 points, ended July 8, 2008, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
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Hmm...I can see the anger in the last line and the shortness of each stanza makes it strong. I can't say that this touched me in any particular way, but it was a very nice read none the less. thank you for entering.
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'I cannot eat it now.
The slices are too big.
They will not fit
into my half-mouth.'
Those lines are amazing.
I think perhaps, you are too talented
can you even be too talented? does that even make sense?
I'm in an odd mood, I'd say ignore me, but I'd really prefer it if you didn't
I think it's more desperate than angry, but I don't think thats a bad thing, because it reads wonderfully
♥
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This is interesting to say the least.
Though, to me slightly confusing.
Every-once-in-a-while poetry seems that way to me.
"You'd be killing me.
And you do. So perhaps
I will kill you, too."
I love that part.
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