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Catch & Release

Missing image


you come to me
in alluring light,
carressing the folds
of my scrutiny,
and converting me,
to someone I never
thought I was capable of being

you come to me and whisper,
hypnotic,
erotic,
I draw in for more

you come to me so delicately,
and I declare us to be true,
but fate steps in, has it's command,
and now our mergence
has turned solitary

you came to me
and held me so sweet,
introduced me to a world
I had no place in,
and even though you are gone,
the peace you instilled in me
leaves me able
to catch and release



Author notes

whispernthedark
picture prompt: http://night-fate.deviantart.com/art/cahrera-ania-k-a-81750572

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • BarbedWireButterfly
    August 24

    Edit | Reply
    I really liked the last line. Caught my attention a lot and summed it up well. The take on the prompt was not what I had expected which is good. Thank you for entering and good luck.

  • grannyeri gold member
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Liked the interpretation of this contest picture prompt. Think that if you used the word and rather than the symbol it would look better. Catchy title for the poem.

    . Rewarded 4


  • King Neirad
    July 3

    Edit | Reply
    Favorite part was all the brilliant little lines in there. "Carressing the folds of my scrutiny", "& now our mergence has turned solitary". I dont like the last line. It doesnt fit to me, but that's just my opinion. I also dont like the "&" that you have through out the piece...but that's also just me lol. Um I like the repetitive "you came to me" I think, in fact, that the poem should be called you came to me...again all my opinions lol. I also have to think it's pretty good, I have to agree with it being a tad on the cliche side, but not much, and sometimes that's not always a bad thing.

  • Faithbound gold member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I think you did well overall. Perhaps a few word choices could have been less cliche. The end was good too. I wish you well with this piece and the contest you have it entered in.

  • BarbedWireButterfly
    June 28
    Edit | Reply
    your picture is
    http://night-fate.deviantart.com/art/cahrera-ania-k-a-81750572

    =D enjoy and thank you for entering. If the picture doesn't fit then just message me and I'll send you a new one
1 - 6 of 6