I seek redemption
Desire salvation
In my broken surroundings
Where sin is but a breath away
And light is a kaleidoscope whisper on the incandescent dust
I sit
I wait
I scream
I cry
Hollow tears abandoned to caliginous whims
Let the chrysalis of shadow enclose upon this contrite soul
Perhaps I'll change
Grow wings
Fly
Bath in the white fields of euphoric freedom
And then again,
Perhaps I won't
Author notes
Credit Artist:
http://darkartists-inc.deviantart.com/art/Resurrection-Part-Four-88204530
A contest entry
- Dark Picture Prompt Semi Quickie by kiwigirljacks.
600 points, ended June 29, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - prewrites by Melissa Gayle.
400 points, ended July 11, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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A lot of "I" in the beginning, I think you really could reword some it to help the flow -
actually the lines from "I sit" to "I cry" read more like a list and could almost be removed completely.
The light and kaleidoscope line is excellent as is the 'chrysalis' line. Really nice and unique.
I think you have a good piece, I definitely think it could be stronger with just a bit of revision -
Darn! I just noticed this is over the word limit! Out of fairness I can't place this as a finalist, though I would have liked to!
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Excellent!! Oh I feel this one.. it mirrors some of my own struggles! A wonderful take on the pic!!
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great take on prompt here... thank you for sharing this with us and gooooooooooooooooooooood luck in contest....!
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Superbly penned, excellent take on the picture. All the best in the contest with it
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great job i like it
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