Why today you have changed
Why cant we be friends
Today you tell me wanna leave
I thought i have to give
My heart but in sadness i start
Laughing i know you will be angry but
Why today you have to leave me
After such a long time you want to be free
From our deep friendship of life
What can i do without just give you smile
A contest entry
- Quickie - 10/10 by Noir mariposa...x.
400 points, ended June 28, 2008, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Have you ever got the answers??
Comments
-
This is really good, If only firends could last forver.
Well done great write. -
Why today have you changed,
Why cant we be friends?
Today you tell me you
wanna leave.
I thought I had to give
my heart but,
in sadness i start laughing.
I know you will be angry
but why today do you
have to leave me?
After such a long time you want to be free
From our deep friendship of life.
What can i do without just give you smile
I don't think that last bit makes sense. I think another word or line might need to go here. Just a suggestion of how to make it easier too read
-
If I may, after the judging is done, i would say that you modify the structure on this so its a tad easier too read.
But all in all, a very touching poem ~
I thank you for entering and I wish you luck
Claire x
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