Pendulums collapse upon
half empty hour-glasses, scattering sands on oblivion;
edging towards never more.
Chronometric requiem echoes apocalyptic hymns,
sundials crumble before Eschatological gravity sending
asunder physical theory.
Particles within forgotten moments shatter,
love, hate, logic, dreams, meaning, existence becomes
obsolete dissolving matter.
Times reaper extends consuming absolution
becoming chronological debris,
spinning towards nothing ever more.
Author notes
POM entry
Theme: The end of space and time.
B-Tha-1da
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2750 points, ended July 1, 2008, 15 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Goes....Or Does It? by lowercase prelude.
1500 points, ended July 8, 2008, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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great word usage. you've captured some wonderful imagery in this piece as well
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Certainly great verbiage used in these lines. Great to win this contest anytime. Congratulations on this achivement.
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congrats on the gold, a well deserving write
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well make me pull out the dictinary why don't you
this was a great piece here i see why it won gold i honestly love things that are different nice job hon it was very 
to read
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freakin awesome... I love your word choice but must say the first stanza got me! Your writing has come so far and I'm proud to have watched you grow. Promise me when you get published you let me know You're amazing!
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I thought that you description about time was well done, the visuals that you chose were fitting and creatively done. A little forced at times in the words that you chose, but otherwise it was beautiful!
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I love the the line Particles within forgotten moments shatter,
love, hate, logic, dreams, meaning, existence becomes
obsolete dissolving matter. the flow sounds a little choppy to me but other then that pretty good write.
two applauses though
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Congrats on your trophy ^_^
This is lovely. Youve done a very good job of making the advanced language seem natural and even helps the poem flow along. Wonder what youre inspiration was for writing this ?? =]
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Well done Poet.....here's a few more of those little yellow guys
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Hi, and welcome to the POM Contest!
Love this write! Great title, great theme, wonderfully crafted poetry.
Your use of language is outstanding, portraying images that cling to
the mind, and conjure up images for speculation.
Last stanza, 'times reaper' needs an apostrophe. Also, this phrase,
'requiem's echoes' ..I would have preferred 'requiem's echo'..easier on
the tongue.
Otherwise, It's clear, concise, beautifully worded, and overall really
well done!
My scores will appear with final remarks. Best to you in the contest!
Remember! No editing once a judge has commented!
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Hey there ~
I have to agree with islekine....loving this Theme!
There is nothing I can really suggest or critique here......lots of depth....Power is in your thoughts....making them mine ~
I see Impact.....but Lasting Impression may dwindle slightly ~
This is a great write.....lots of charactor......and it builds up nicely.....over-all....one of the top 3 reads thus far.....for me ~
Let's get it on the board ~
Good luck and God bless,
Bear ~
Title 9.8....I would click on this Title -
Flow 9.85...excellent read with super Flow and understanding in each line -
Depth 9.9....For such a short write...you covered a lot -
Theme 10...perfection -
Feelings 10....your grammatical choices touched me -
Grammar 9.9...very affective -
Presentation 9.9....simple....yet pleasing -
Uncommonness 10....I really got into this write -
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.95....made me sit & pnder....for sure -
Ability to follow Rules 10...perfect from what I can see -
Bears Score: 99.3
Very nice job ~
No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~
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Aloha! and welcome to POM...
Well since you know me, you know I'm loving the theme... It is totally unique in the aspect of taking everything away... "love, hate, logic, dreams, meaning, existence becomes
obsolete dissolving matter." Love this concept..line...stanza..lol....it sends great imagery of nothingness to me! Best wishes in the contest!
See you again next week!
REMEMBER: No editing once a judge has commented on your work!
Write on...
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Wow, great word play and wonderful imagery. Love the theme. All the best in the contest with it
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