Bountiful harvest
leaves turned yellow
pinnacles filled with grains,
bent still undelivered
Girls sang folk melody
hearts swelled with joy,
songs came spontaneous
reverberated open skies
Birds joined chorus
brought delight fluttering
joy contagious,
travelled far corners
Earth yielded bounty
fed many a life,
never turned sterile once,
sowing uninterrupted after reaping.
Earth smiled while it gave
big tree from small seed
handed over sweet fruit,
churned cycle eternally
Author notes
*POM Contest* Venu Gopal
harvest brings great joy in our palce.People sing and celebrate.
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2750 points, ended July 1, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Hi, and welcome to the POM Contest!
This is a lovely celebration of a cycle that continues throughout the world, throughout time. A 'gathering' of crops, people, blessings.
It's a wonderful theme...but one that has been done innumerable times before.
Nice lines here..some choppiness still, but a bit of tweaking after the contest could fix
that. (Don't mean to sound rebellious, Bear, but sometimes a line just cries out for a "filler" word!*
*)
A very enjoyable read for me.
My scores will appear in final remarks. Best to you in the contest!
Remember! No editing once a judge has commented!
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Hehe ~
You're right Neon......but then I would have to take away from their score
Nice review from you Neon
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Beautiful poem..have not had the chance to witness harvest season personally, yet you draw a beautiful and high spirited picture here, which I can feel..All the best!
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Hey Stranger ~
With the exception of choppy Flow....this is a very nice piece of colorful Art you have penned ~
It is a tad plain for others who may have bigger insight than we do.....but for me, you have penned something beautiful and insightful to read ~
I still feel like you are tense in your quill...let loose a bit.....have some fun!
Let my board say the rest ~
Good luck and God bless you!
Bear ~
Title 9.0...cliche'....but affective -
Flow 7.5....very choppy for me -
Depth 9.5...liked the journey of imagery & thought -
Theme 9.15....not too original....but fresh from the field -
Feelings 8.5...lacking in emotion & feeling -
Grammar 9.25....colorful grammatical choices --
Presentation 9.3....not bad -
Uncommonness 8.75...can't say it's really that original -
Sit & Ponder Affect 8.85....loved the write....but shallow in depth -
Ability to follow Rules 10....perfect from what I see -
Bears Score: 89.8
No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~
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Aloha! AND so welcome back!
I do believe this is your best entry to date! This has painted a very lovely picture in my mind, you have used poetic devices well...and it is just lovely...not sure how it will score with others...but it will rank high for me...Thanks so much for your entry! Best wishes in the contest...
write on!
REMEMBER: No editing once a judge has commented on your work!
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I am not to sure where you are from but here our neighbors which are Amish have a huge harvest festival around the time of Halloween which is great fun and greater food they offer hay rides and fun for the whole family as long as you are invited to the gathering which they usually dont invite anyone but the plain people but I get alot of my vegetables from their market so they know us this is a good piece goodluck to you in the contest much love
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I FOUND THIS VERY UPLIFTING!!!
I don't know quite why but while reading in my mind I had this beautiful picture of fields on the farm back home as my family was picking the harvest.'s
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This is a beautiful poem, happy and uplifting to read. Superbly penned,, tho you need a white background in this contest All the best in the contest with it
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wow you have painted such beautiful imagery on the bountiful harvest with each stanza dancing out its naturel joy from its yeild I loved the following sentances they are just beautiful
Bountiful harvest leaves turned yellow Birds joined chorus brought delight fluttering joy contagious,Earth yielded bounty fed many a life,Earth smiled while it gave big tree from small seed handed over sweet fruit,
churned cycle eternally good luck in the contest
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I seem to favor the endings of your poetry.
Always seems to contain an extra sweetness.
I want to say it has an added passion, but I think that emotion was there from the beginning.
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