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I wear my heart on a chain

I shall no longer hold my heart in my chest
But on a simple key chain
I wont give you any trouble
When you want to break it
Ill just hand it right over
I see no reason in keeping this pain
In my chest all the time, it drives me insane
But anyways, yes here on this chain
Is my heart once again
Just going out to the person
Who wants to break it once more
So maybe when you do it wont hurt me anymore

Author notes

I used option A

A contest entry

Watcha think dudes

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Comments


  • MissxoxMassacre
    September 19, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    This was lovely. Perfectly pieced together & the ending was perfect. Great job, keep it up.
    -JM<3


  • Jfd
    July 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I'm not as nice as ears...but please know I mean this as being constructive and not offensively....I think you can do better than this, I didn't like the repetition of the word "chain" and the rhyming felt like more of a distraction then useful ( though I'm not a big fan of rhyme so maybe I'm bias) I really did love the idea of your heart as a keychain, I think you should expand on this metaphor and not keep it so simple....it truly is a clever idea.....thank you for taking the time to enter!


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    July 10, 2008
    Edit | Reply

    Clever...clever.....

    to wear your heart upon a chain...wow..that was good!
    Those last lines really taunt too...
    So...maybe..
    when you do it...
    it won't hurt me anymore...

    oh..man, kinda like wearing your heart on your sleeve,
    but with much more effective imagery!
    I liked this poem a lot!
    ears/Seattle
    Great entry for the contest!
    way to write!


  • Iridessa MoonFlower
    July 1, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I like this. It reflects the pain that you have been in. I hope you are doing better. This is a sad piece. Having your heart broken all the time, really hurts, so painful. I wish people we're different. But no one ever said life would be easy. That is what makes us who we are. I just hope that life doesn't make you turn in to a hard person. Not caring how people make you feel. Because you are a good person & really do deserve to be happy. In Love & Light... Blessed Be! ~~Mom~~ ~~Iridessa~~