You're staring at her with your intense blue eyes
I'm watching your face as you think about her
(Will you ever look at me like that?)
How I wish , How I hope, When I think of you and me
Together all the time, Best friends we are
(I want more)
Oh why cant I just tell you?,
Why cant I be her?
(I love you)
In the car that night,after you and she had that fight
I was going to tell you then, but you went around that bend
(It's over)
The bright lights in my eyes
Is this what it feels like to die?
(Blood dripping from my eyes as I cry)
I held your hand as you faded away
I'll never forget this day
(You loved HER but it was ME with you till the end)
Now I tell you everyday
When I visit your grave
(It was never just a crush)
Author notes
OK , My first crush he was my best friend . I was 14 his name was Nathanial he was 19. I was homeless and he looked after me was like I was his little sister and I wished he would love me lolz.So anyway , we were in a car crash one night and I was holding his hand as he died, I never did get to tell him how I felt.
"Larry, I'm dancin ... with the stars"
A contest entry
- PIF:Enlightening me Options Inside!!! by LivinitupCutie.
1300 points, ended July 11, 2008, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - First. . . by SingPraiz4Hym.
525 points, ended July 28, 2008, 18 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - the biggest prewrite contest ever by serenity silvermoon.
900 points, ended January 18, 362 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GOLD DIGGERS ONLY (just for losers) by tarcus.
950 points, ended April 8, 37 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Honest Opinions Please
Comments
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sorry for your loss
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Wow your poem is amazing. Very deep. I know it sucks to have a crush on someone who is interested in someone else. it really sucks. I loved it. Thanks for sharing
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i love this so much! its so deep. at first you think its just a boring story about a girl whos in love but its not. im sure there are lots of people that were like this and im glad you took the time to write it down. you saved the suspense throughout the entire poem. I loved it! brillient!!!!
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this makes me really sad ='( i have a crush on my best friends and his alive but he has something for another girl who only plays with him and when i see him sad over her it makes my heart break but i don't dare tell him i love him because it would ruin out friendship and i would loose him forever so i completely understand what you meant in the poem because i feel it everytime i see him..... anyways this poem was really awsome it shows a lot of emotion and sometimes that's all a good poem needs. I like how you put the actions in parenthesis it gives it more of a dramatic this is important effect. Awsome job!!!!!!!!!! Sorry for babb;ing up there.....
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Eloquently Written...BRAVO..
The entire piece is well written in a way that no revision can be done. I felt the coldness of holding on so dearly that puts me there in the scene. I have a grandmother who died momentarily to the point that I was the first one to find her dead. I know how the warmth turns chilly. Trying to tell someone how they make you feel right in a tramatic event. When the life is fading away so does the anger and other inner feelings try to cut through and lash out; however time of lifespan and releasing pain at the person always fade together slipping away. I would like you to take a look at my peom if ya could.
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OMG i TOTALLY understand where you coming from. [except for the dying part] This is something im kinda going through right now. Yea this boy is my best friend, and i like him more as a friend and yadayayaya.... Anyway great write
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wow such a sad yet beautyful poem... ... Even though he is gone he is always with you, Im sure he knew how much you loved him and how much you still do.
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Veryu good piece. You really made it feel emotional and real. Great job with the penning! An A+ job with word usage and everything. Keep up the great work! I will be looking forward to reading and commenting on more of your work soon. i hope that you can get the chance to COMMENT back on my work, seeing as how I am sure that you and I take the same amount of love and put it into each and every piece that we write! Thanks so much for the share and again, a brilliant write!
THANKS SO MUCH!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~Heroesrox~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ -
I liked the way you gave thoughts to your feelings, then brought it to the emotional feeling again with the (). Thanks for entering and good luck.
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Wow.I have read alot of lost love poems on this site. This one really stands out. You have done an excellent job.
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the feelings in this one poem, i know way too well. why can't you be the girl that makes his stomach turn, his legs week, his eyes glisten. you set back and smile, wanting more then just friends, wantting more then just the jokes and shoves, but the love and kisses. but the ending, wow, i have never gone through that. i have lost a best friend in an atv crash, but he was just a friend, not one i loved. i surley hope this wasn't true. and if ti was i am terribley sorry. what a sad ending. after a fight, in a car, i would have hated for a situation like that to happen to me. i don't think i could have lived through such a horrific event. so so sad.
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Amazing!
What an amazing piece of poetry, it almost made me cry! And judging from what I read in the author's note this was a real life situation too? That's so sad, but you've turned it into such a beautiful piece of poetry! Thanks for sharing, all the best!!
~xXxIceQueenxXx -
superb
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wow..I'm speechless to this from just being a challenge leading to something deeper..love is an unknown thing that you can't controlled...sometimes when that someone is right there in front of you you just can't utter a word..as much as a 'I Love You'..till it's too late..your chance is final..it's neither is fault or his for both doesn't want it to end like that..it's indeed very kind of him to take you in and takes care of you..many wish it but can never have a treasure like that..I'm srry for what happens but this just only to let you know that if you were to find another special someone ..letting you learn that treasure your moment and don't let it slip through your fingers..tell him 'I love you'...you'll never know if it's being returned...but if you're rejected then it's okay for you know you have tried and won't regret for not saying that three letter words...beautifully written and thank you for taking the challenge in my contest..I wish you luck
Lieu
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Thank You , and yes you are right it has taught me to not hold back.. and as hard as rejection is it's better to know than always know you never got to tell them.."The only regrets you ever should have are for the risks you never did take" not sure who said that but it sums it up nicely
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defintely I agreed...and no problem
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