My life Long Dreams

Things are hitting me hard today.
I mean.. if Life was a Metal Bat.
I'd be the ball.
no control at all.
i'll explain a little bit further.
Today was the only day where I was Shut up, Silent, and trashed on the inside.

I had no place to hide.
but i stuck up for myself with Pride.

I shouldn't have.
I kind of told my sister that she was a raging alcoholic, I know. Cliche.. but hey!

Life is a little bit like that sometimes.
I guess it's just alcohol.

a little drinky, that she really likes so much that she would do it morning, day, and night.
because she Has a wild Fright in her eyes.

I just wish she saw through someone elses eyes for once.
I Just wish she didn't hate herself..
Her mind..
her Body...

Her Sister.. and her Brother.
it makes me a little but upset and sad.
it makes me want to Show her so bad.

I'm tired of Evil.
I'm Tired of Ignorance.
i'm Tired of Seriousness.
I'm tired of My Sister..
Trying to force herself to be a fool who plays it cool
By making her world a little colder.

This is my Family, I realized.
All of them are not like me.

All of them appreciate funny like me.
But that is all.

I want to free them all.
I want to free my mom of her dead end relationships.

I want to Free my sister from Alcoholism.
I want to see my Friends all around me.

Dancing with me.. all over.
I want to look up into the sunshine.
and find every four leaf clover..
in the world.

But my image of happiness is so far away today.
This is how my day went.

My whole entire life will not be spent, though.
on these thoughts on people who don't even truly care about me.

Molly? she doesn't care. it's okay.
mom? Who even knows?
There both lost anyway.

it seems not exactly everyone understands what true happiness really is.
Sometimes i want to move right on in with my daddy.
Because he will at least be mature.

Never thinking about himself, always thinking about me.
Why am I still here?

I wondered today.

My friend Angela is gone alot, thats okay too.
but I don't ever want to see her happy face turn blue.
She is the only other happy Pappy person there is in the whole world it seems.

oh well.. today was based solely on my life long Dreams.