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When Up Is Down, Child

Simply put ocean depths are profound,
As is the Grand Canyon from a mesa's high ground,
Caves descending into earth's dark deep,
The valley floor from the Alps' steep,
A glacier's crevasse suddenly found,
The volcano's caldera when you look around,
A jack-in-the-pulpit flower as a fly in you creep,
Dark woods with promises still to keep,
Understanding the subtle may be,
Laughter, love and sometimes pity.

The moon, the sun, the stars that abound,
Could be, but they are up side down.

Author notes

I envision a parent cutting out pictures from National Geographic of the places and things in this poem and reading Frost's poem out loud to illustrate and teach.

A contest entry

Object and word choice,rhyme flow?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Mairi bheag gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    This has the feel of a sonnet without being one, lovely images, a good trophy-winner.

    Just about the only thing I don't like is the slight awkwardness of "as a fly in you creep", but that's minor.



  • dabpunx
    July 5
    Edit | Reply
    I felt a wisdom in this poem. Conveys gently the simple elegance of nature and life.


  • myrataal silver member
    July 1
    Edit | Reply

    Interesting topic ...

    and one we can write volumes about.

    The cosmic swirl is timeless and is vast. We see not what we see.
    And often our teaching blinds instead of illuminates ...

    Ah.

    To be eternal CHILD.

    Love
    Myra

  • celadia gold member
    July 1

    Edit | Reply
    It's in almost a child's perspective how they ask one question after another in order to learn and how they can't contain their curiosity. Lovely poem, I think.

  • james119
    June 30

    Edit | Reply

    please do not respond

    This is really cute, an interesting and applicable use of the word given. It's visual and panoramic in scope. The reference to Frost is s side trip into poetry, emphasized by the italics and drawing into more personal realms. Then it's back to the external things. Wrapping up with the very 'in the moment' experience of learning really rounds things out.

    thanks for entering

  • Passive
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    I get your author note! this is well written, the rhyming does not sacrifice any meaning, and the use of nature are great, the last three lines were fantastic.
    • aprilnadeau gold member
      June 28
      Edit | Reply

      thank you for your kind comments and for your reading and understanding the

      author's notes.
1 - 8 of 8