You are my life's blood,
the reason I go on each day
You tell me you want to die
how could this be
I have given you all of me
shouldn't you be happy
isn't there anything I can do
to erase these horrible feelings
from your beautiful mind
why do you hurt?
I know I've made mistakes
hurt you along the way
But, alas, I am only human
and subject to error
I promised never to hurt you again
and that promise I have kept
but you are falling farther away
You are hanging on a precipice
dangling with tear filled eyes
do I have the strength to pull you out?
A contest entry
- Prompt around 20 lines by mysticstorm.
1000 points, ended July 9, 2008, 10 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
How did this piece make you feel?
Comments
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Very heartfelt and full of deep emotions...beautifully written in flow and meaning...yes we all mess up in life and hurt they ones we love, but that is why it is love...forgiveness...sad but perfect ending...
thank you for sharing! -
Ok this is awesome, I am seeing a lot of emotion in this, it sounds almost as if you know someone on these lines. I think it rolls great. Best of luck.
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this is very accurately getting the message across and portraying the related feelings very well. helplessness and worry. the background and photo work well also. if this is a real life issue for you, i hope they get better, i'm sure you have the strength to make things better. keep up the great poetry and good luck in the contest. -Jamie
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this is beautiful.
I love the rhyme. Good job. Well written! The message came across beautifully. ^_^
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