Standing still
in limbo it is true
In tenth decade
physically impaired
Walk slowly with cane
Legally blind
Words must be magnified
but mind's still keen
rife with memories
with imaginations
That is why I poetize
That is why I am
still standing
Author notes
POM Contest.Theme Don't let life's travails floor you.
In a list
A contest entry
- Poem of the Month - POM by Arkbear.
2750 points, ended July 1, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write-a-pal-ooza by Nicole Hanna.
300 points, ended July 8, 2008, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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We all stand in Limbo at times and though we may be blind we must still strive to see.I hope I am lucky enough to see my tenth decade.An interesting write, Ros
-
Hi Bill ~
Absoluetly loved your write Bill :)
Yes, there are more lines to utilize for your line Max...but as Neon said, you did not meander....you got to the point and left us all a great message while you were at it ~
My scoreboard will say the rest!
Good luck & God bless Sir,
Bear ~
Title 8.5....too cliche', but it does tell the Reader something about the Genre they are about to read....and it is both ways in your write, so the Rule is not broken -
Flow 9.1....not bad....but a few punctuation would have allowed me to sow down and absorb all of your thoughts -
Depth 7.9...I do wish you had taken the Line max and used them....I was really getting into your thoughts -
Theme 8.5...not original....but when it comes from the real source of age, you made this appear really nice -
Feelings 7.85...lacking on feelings Bill -
Grammar 8.5...simople grammatical choices....could have used a metaphore here and there -
Presentation .8.75....not a fan of one big stanza -
Uncommonness 8.95....this Theme has been done many times -
Sit & Ponder Affect 9.7..I actually enjoyed this...and had to look at your side from your view -
Ability to follow Rules 9.5...forgot some filler words....but over-all...a very nice write Bill :)
Bears Score: 87.25
Nive job Sir :)
No editing once a Judge has touched your work ~
-
Hi, and welcome to the POM!
I love the theme of this write. I don't know if it is truly unique,
but it struck a cord with me.
Good attention paid to the rules..nice reversal of title to poem, and
vice-versa.
As for format, I am not particularly fond of the "no puncuation" form of
writing..but that's a personal thing, and I don't discount points for it,
if it's done consistantly, ..as yours is. Also, your line breaks work
well as 'pauses'.
I also like to compactness of this write. It says what needs to be
said, and doesn't meander, of muddle-up the meaning with unneccessary
verbiage.
On the down side, the filler words 'that' and 'is' snuck in there! I
can't really offer any alternate suggestions, however, can't score you
a full 10 on rules.
All in all..a well-formed write.
My scores will appear in final remarks. Best to you in the contest.
Remember! No editing once a judge has commented!
-
Aloha Bill...
I chose your poem to comment on first...because you always manage to touch my heart. I sincerely hope, when I am your age, I am still writing and have as much of my mind intact as you do. I think you are an inspiration to all of us, and I so look forward to your poems...In fact, I am going to have a contest for people eighty and above...just to see how many brilliant old minds we have! As you can see from other comments, you managed to let a couple of the filler words in...lol...it is hard to write without them..
believe me, I know~ My scores will be in the final notes...Best wishes in the contest and life! You are a true inspiration to all!
Write on!
REMEMBER: No editing once a judge has commented on your entry!
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That and is are both words we weren't allowed to use this week. You need to look into gettig rid of them. You also need to use proper punc and capitalization.
Just doing my rounds to help with the rules
-Les -
Superbly penned, love the theme...you should place that in your AN to All the best in the contest
-
hi, nice write, however, I did notice you have two of the banned words - "to, and".
Kathryn
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