he looked where his eyes could no longer follow
he saw with his own two eyes sterling streams
of her ocular tension
he danced in her presence for a thousand days
put kisses in her infinity where she
would swallow them like cubes of sugar
three grass templates rose over her curiosity
with passion unfurled beneath her tender feet
where he placed his firm soul for her to walk
inside her Sabatini immaterialism
lightning flashes dark repetitions -
square miles behind her hind curvature,
he pants for more...
Author notes
if he were winking, would he only see half as much?
A contest entry
- Draw Me A Picture of Romance by theredcatjazzoflove.
700 points, ended July 4, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I don't believe I have read a romantic write of yours before but it was worth waiting for this facet within your poetry to make an entrance, stage right and Bravo, encore, this is not the usual immaterial froth that purports to touch base with the soul , this touches it.
I simply adored " he places kisses in her infinity" ( oh, lucky Mrs B! ) It's obvious by the depths this traverses that you feel that connection with all of its sweet, sweet confection. Liked the wordplay/double entendre of the last two lines, tastefully said, the visual was there, the feminine form admired for all of its womanly wantoness and yet, yet not for that alone. A pleasure to read romance that isn't the Mills and Boon that women are force-fed and malnourished from, for it is fiction.
NB Not at all sure you need the addition of the picture.If you must post a guy looking then at least take requests from us girls please, George Clooney would be fine...Not only is he easy on the ear and the eye he loved his pet pig and just bought someone a brand new car and left a note saying sorry because he slightly pranged the owners car, what a sweetie, some stars get hot under the collar and rave wtf but he is a gentleman...
If he were winking would he see only half as much? If he winks then he already knows that to see half of what he sees is as engaging as seeing the pretty picture in its entirety surely?
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gee whiz...i think i need to be high to understand this... Your love for the abstract and the unusually put is catchy...I had to read this again. Love, Lane
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A genuinely stunning write my friend. A Sensuous, seductive and deliciously eloquent that skims of the edges of erotic. A well deserved gold!!!!
~Chelle~
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Wow
this was indeed different and I must say enjoyable
loved the imagery in this piece.
Good luck, poet.
-ephiphany
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The second and last stanza are my favorites. When I read poesy, yours for instance, I am reminded of sharp swords, beautiful virgins, chemical peels and lots of other nifty expressions. There is something to come in poetry that breathes out of itself and becomes more. Your words here remind me of simply romantic suggestion. The kind that coils up like a rodeo snake and becomes immediate.
Very good penning from you.
Nothing critical to mention.
;
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Romance is that illusive butterfly which flits from heart to heart and turns the dust of everyday life into a golden haze.
One of the most interesting, yet baffling, things about life is that out of all the people in the world, a few fortunate ones will touch our lives in a special way and leave lasting impressions. One such person is our soulmate, twin flames in box of eggshells...
Wanna make an omelette?
Excellence is endearing.
~ Fricka
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Hey this sounds alot like my recent date... Except the Italian part... I didn't know whether I was to deconstruct it or eat it..??? And I tend to tread lightly being a tenderfoot again...
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if a wink falls in the forest
and no one is there to acknowledge it
did it make a noise?
this makes a noise- good to see the soft gentle side of you.
m
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i love it love it love it!
you are a charmer this was very much so not the same ole crap you hear you blew me away thanks
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