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[ I'm all theory. ]

I'm all theory.
You're all action.
We're all cop cars and sirens and no passing zones.
You're all late nights and long drives.
And I'm not in Kansas anymore.
I'm four-leaf clover to your black-alley-cat ladder strut.
But this story lacks one element-
the ending.

Please tell me what you think

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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? • Line numbers
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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • bloved
    July 3

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    This was pretty cool...reminds me of a blues song or Jazz, very lyrical. It sounds like something Mr. Huhges would write.

  • strangerforeigner
    July 3
    Edit | Reply
    Very rhythmic, cool, smooth. Well done.


  • TheShanesaw
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    I love this poem. It reminds me of the Night Hawks painting. You should record it with sax, drums, and bass in the background


  • She Has My Heart
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    Good and different...very good in fact. I like the brevity, it's nicely compacted. Definitely has promise as lyrics if you were so inclined to turn it that way. Nice job.


  • MuddyKing gold member
    July 2

    Edit | Reply

    Excellent

    I like
    and it does have a scat cat thing goin' on
    I could see this developing into a series
    excellent
    best wishes
    peace Muddy

  • Kalamina
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    This was super creative, I really liked your comparisons and the length, it really gave a great flow to the poem! Great write, I really enjoyed it!

  • Dienush Greeters member
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    This is very interesting.

  • nobletemplar
    July 2

    Edit | Reply
    really cool word choice and pun placement. sometimes your flow is broken by the lines with too many words, but overall it has a nice consistency and rhythm.


  • O b l i v i o n
    July 2
    Edit | Reply
    Lovely work!!! Love the brievity and the beauty of the lines! Keep it up!


  • Harlequin Bunny silver member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    I suggested this for a front-page feature .. as I said in the comment there, this is really musical, in a funky, jazzy kind of way. It's an excellent example of short prose!

1 - 11 of 11