What would you do if i died tomorrow?
would you cry, sob, weep
or grin with glee at the fact
I would forever be asleep?
sigh with wonder at my cold body
laying there so still?
or sit there coldly yourself
wanting the hurt to heal?
What would you do if you could save me
from this death i so dream of?
Would you hide in a corner scared
waiting for a miracle from above?
Would you take me in your arms
and say that i am loved?
Or take my breath yourself
with a heavy shove?
and down would i fall
into an endless abyss
Waiting hours long
for death's ill-begotten kiss...
Author notes
Well, first in a while, hopefully not the last i post on here
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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very good i think that we al wonder some times and i certanly have poems like this as well
--kat -
WOW
thats really freakin good. i love it. and you. ^>^*
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Overall - very good.
I really liked the idea of this poem, and there were several very touching and inspiring lines - "for death's ill-begotten kiss." I only wish that you had used more inventive and beautiful language. Sometimes we as writers get in the habit of using the exact same vocab in our writing as in our speech, but this often hinders the creative process.
Well, good luck in your writing. Never stop. -
Melancholic treasure
Melancholic, beautiful a dicotomy - does she seek death " from this death i so dream of?" or love : "Would you take me in your arms and say that i am loved?" of course we are all dual in nature as this poem beautifully illustrates - another fine piece. I certainly hope not the last
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