Compliments are not colours that fits
This train-wreck personality
And confidence is not a cut
That I will chose to use/
Perfect bloodWhore makeup
Shattered across the skin
The virginal facade to hide
These salted emotions bled
Don't lie to me, my beautiful boy
'Cause I am deaf&blind&dumb
To wickedly darling words
So should you call me beautiful
I'll show you a disaster.
Author notes
barefaced truth.
-edited.
A contest entry
- beautiful disaster by Randomly Beautiful.
300 points, ended June 29, 2008, 7 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
All that I've got
Comments
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Compliments are not colours that fits
This train-wreck personality
And confidence is not a cut
That I will chose to use/
You don't need the s after fits. Also I think instead of chose you mean choose?
Compliments are not colors
that fit this
train-wreck personality,
& confidence is not a cut
I will choose to use.
Don't lie to me, my beautiful boy
'Cause I am deaf&blind&dumb
To wickedly darling words
So should you call me beautiful
I'll show you a disaster.
Those last two stanzas need no change. Love it.
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Could be tightened in spots but overall I really like it. The ending was superb.
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thank you,
i've given it another go, see if you like it better
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