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Where to Start?

After a year I'm ready to write, but where do I start?
Shall I start off by describing the status of my heart...
Aphrodite stole my love and tore the hair from my skull;
She told me lie after lie, making my life hopeless and dull;

But where would I be if after a year thats all I have to tell?
No, that is not the end of my story of how my life went to hell;
I gave up what I loved, poetry and art, for this girl of lies;
I thought I was strong in faith, but the devil is a master of disguise.

I use to know what I wanted in life and love, but not anymore;
After being together for so long, you have closed my heart's door;
Sometimes you go into Taco Bell knowing exactly what you desire,
But in the end it is something entirely different that you require.

I sacrificed my relationship with my mother for this liar girl;
I traded the love of a deceiver for the most precious pearl;
I let the devil take a foot hold in my life and I didn't care,
But now I do and I'm done with this crap and so here I declare:

"Satan you had your fun but fortunately for me, now you are done.
You took away my hope, my faith, my life, but you have not won.
God is always there, even if I don't see his loving hand on my soul;
I took a break from Him and let you in, but now I'm taking back control."

So let me wrap up this poem and end it with a little bit of advice:
Everyone makes mistakes, but just try never to make them twice;
Even if you leave Him, God will still always have room in His house;
Sometimes we make mistakes to humble us down to the size of a mouse;

So here I am thinking I'm barely hanging to the end of the rope;
When into my thunderstorm of a life a rainbow shines a sign of hope...

Author notes

I wrote this about 3 weeks ago, but never posted it. Not quite sure why I didn't. This is about the pain of my break up with my girlfriend. Though just to let everyone know, we are now back together, just taking it slow like we should have before. No, I won't be leaving the site again. I'm here forever til Kevin dies

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Comments

1 - 27 of 27

  • Pensively Ignorant
    December 5, 2008

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    I disagree

    Creativity flows through this poem. I can feel how much you have hurt over this young lady, and how much you have probably learned. The hardest part of loosing a relationship is rediscovering who you are and were before they were around. I hope that you are happy now, and that you feel just a tid bit relieved by this poem. I love that I got to read some of your work again, and I love this site and ahhh I am happy with the world.
    Great job!


  • mysticstorm gold member
    September 25, 2008
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    Well we sure can grow a lot in a years time...as you said what is important is to live and learn...mistakes are made to make us see what is right...a nice overview of a year in your life...just remember the mistake and try not to make it again...proceed with caution...
    Best to you!
    mystic

  • davidwright silver member
    September 2, 2008

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    Edit this down and you've got the makings of sad old country song. Could be a hit. Happy trails and good luck


  • PrabhuDayal Khattar silver member
    August 17, 2008

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    Humm..this is really an intriguing and sharing thought with the message you have here..I love it ..and thanks for sharing such a wonderful piece...


  • thelordreigns gold member
    August 13, 2008

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    I have already commented on this poem Tim. Sorry that I used up a click but it is good to reread this piece.

    Be blessed with all that God has for you this beautiful summer day.

    - jo -


  • Darr Kingston
    August 13, 2008
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    This is straight in point and has good rythmn to it. I like this reading.


  • Kevin Moderators member
    August 13, 2008

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    why did she tear the hair from your scull?

    2nd stanza, perhaps start with "After a year, that's all I have to tell"

    bringing the devil into it carries a whole lot of alternate-context, be careful it doens't hijack your poem..


  • Salt Therapy
    August 13, 2008

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    I love it!

    I use to know what I wanted in life and love, but not anymore;
    After being together for so long, you have closed my heart's door;
    Sometimes you go into Taco Bell knowing exactly what you desire,
    But in the end it is something entirely different that you require.


    Outstanding.


  • il terzo fratello
    August 13, 2008

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    Wow, very emotional and heartfelt poem. I can feel the sadness come right up from the words themselves. Very well done.


  • Riamh
    August 13, 2008

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    A powerful piece of poetry, beautifully expressing the pain and anguish that you went through.
    I wish you both well.

  • Topnotchsy
    August 12, 2008
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    Powerful write. Great rhythm and rhyming. Really a great piece from beginning to end.


  • edens-envy
    August 12, 2008

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    'So here I am thinking I'm barely hanging to the end of the rope;/When into my thunderstorm of a life a rainbow shines a sign of hope...' I love these lines.. They work so nicely as an ending to your poem. I like the rhymimg in here and this has a good flow to it. Keep up the good work!


  • StarEyes
    August 12, 2008

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    Tim,

    You know, I there there is a lot in this one, on many levels. One being that God will always be there for us, in good and bad... No matter, if we loose sight of him for a while or not. Secondly, sometimes, when we think we know what is best for us, we do tend to fall, and push many away, but God will always be there waiting for our return.

    Then of course, there is the fact that, sometimes, it takes something like a breakup, to make us wake up And well you show us that quite clearly in this one! Your writing talent is just as amazing as your background and tags that you do! An All Around Talented young man!

    Great job!!

    and love my friend

    Nyetta


  • Uniquely-Scarred
    August 12, 2008

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    I REALLY LIKE THE EMOTION IN THE THIS BUT I FEEL THE RHYMN IS A BIT FORCED, WHICH MESSES WITH THE RAW EMOTION FOR ME... BUT ITS CLEAR YOU CAN WRITE COS SOME OF THE DESCRIPTION IN THIS PIECE IS GREAT, OH AND WRITING IS ALWAYS GREAT FOR THE HEALING PROCESS


  • condor gold member
    August 2, 2008

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    A lovely poem, Sharcu. I'm sorry this poem had to come about because of a break up but hey, You have shown in the words you have written that you are a very big man with a lovely heart. The poem was written with great flow and energy, and your feelings were there in every word. I hope you don't allow this to keep you from finding your true love because you are an angel. God bless you.


  • LittleAnn
    July 27, 2008

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    You clearly have not lost your writing talent...
    Glad to hear you are back together, and I'm also glad you're not planning to leave again.
    The most important thing is trusting in the Lord... I'm glad you realized that once again.

    Keep on writing!
    All the best,
    Annie


  • liduen silver member
    July 13, 2008

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    You conveyed your emotions so clearly and yet in a deep, thoughtful way. This has quite a few interesting metaphors, I especially like the Taco Bell one Your eloquence (sp) touches me. Your flow is perfect and the rhyming is natural. I am very glad that you and your girlfriend are back together. Great write, I wish I could give you more than 3 clappie men


  • Anewor gold member
    July 8, 2008

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    I can really feel all your pain and frustration. But I can also feel you beginning to glow once again...the circle of light and acceptance expanding, soon we will all be able to see the person you are morphing into. It is one of the hardest things to do, admit we turned our backs on all we loved and were able to be led astray from who we really are, you have set into motion a new journey and when you least expect it this journey will become a wonderful adventure. good job!


  • Rockerstar
    July 8, 2008

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    Wow. I can understand where your coming from in this poem. Particularly this line "I use to know what I wanted in life and love, but not anymore". Its amazing how certain situations can completely throw you and the time it takes to recover....is the end ever near? Powerful write.


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 8, 2008

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    Liked the flow of this poem, the sentiments expressed so well in this rhythm and rhyme you have used here in these lines. Think you could have gone on for much longer - on a roll so to speak. Glad things have worked themselves out and you will keep writing...


  • DeGraw
    July 7, 2008

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    Killer Write!

    A tremendous write! Whatever you were doing while you were gone the muse was still kept alive and well!
    Regards,
    Jennifer

  • DeGraw
    July 7, 2008

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    Killer Write!

    A tremendous write! Whatever you were doing while you were gone the muse was still kept alive and well!
    Regards,
    Jennifer

  • Shadow Darkstar
    July 4, 2008
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    He is only there if you believe in him. Hope you and the gf do well, though.


    • Sharcu silver member
      July 7, 2008
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      No. He's always there, but sometimes we don't see Him.

  • thelordreigns gold member
    June 27, 2008
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    If it is true Godly love, you will not feel like you have to leave those people and things that are precious to you like writing and your Mom.

    God works all things to the good and this whole last year will make you stronger and healthier and more effective in ministering to others.

    I am so sorry for your pain and I am praying for you especially in your renewed relationship.

    All things are possible with God!

    Hugs and never stop writing. Writing is life!

    - joanne -


    • M0ofi3
      June 27, 2008
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      Joanne,

      Please look at Romans 8:28 again. God works things for good, but only to certain persons. It is a promise but a promise with conditions. He works all things for good for those who love God, implying obedience. As Jesus said, "If you love Me, keep My commandments." A lot of supposed Christians are emoting toward the Lord, yet not submitted to Him.

      • thelordreigns gold member
        June 27, 2008
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        AMEN.

        He works ALL things to the good for those who love HIM and are called to HIS purpose!

        I have always taken this verse to be written in a tense that supersedes past, present, and future. God can take those things we did while deep in the world and full of sin, and turn them into testimonies of HIS faithfulness. He did it with me.

        What matters most is the part where we love HIM. If we love him, then we will be submitted to Him and our walk will reflect that love. It has to!

        Hugs and hugs some more!

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