Never have I had a moment of clarity,
Even when I think back I try to see,
Can I not appeal to inner child in me?,
Get that child out, let him run wildly,
Let him have all the fun he wants,
Without running into bully taunts,
Let little man live nonchalant,
Rather than have dreams haunted,
Taken over by demons, aged ten,
The boy's a hollow head,
I have a gaping hole that leaks info,
It's simple, I lose my memories,
They choose to stop sending me;
Giving me the happy times,
Wishing I could go back in time...
A contest entry
- A Stroll Down Memory Lane (PW welcome) by thepoetsings.
700 points, ended August 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Nostalgia? I only Wish...i cant remember alot of my childhood, im supposed to have blocked it out 'cos of trauma...or some shit like that, bummer huh? lol
Comments
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I read your explanation and, even though I have some sort of appreciation for it, this still wasn't quite what I was looking for. (I totally would've been okay if you'd make something up.)
I did like the message you were trying to get across in this poem, but I think your rhyming might have detracted from it a bit. The rhyme scheme was rather inconsistent, so I'd say either lose it or make it a bit more consistent. Thanks for sharing! -
Only one editorial:
- line 12. Did you mean "loose", or "lose"? Just checking.
I will comment further on this when judging. Thank you for the entry! -
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Yeah, lose, whoops my bad...i'm going to change it now - THanks for the clarification, Domz, One!!
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