As the snow thaws
I feel it again
it happens every year
I feel that excitement
that I did as a kid
longing for sunshine on my
shoulders
hair flowing in the warm summer breeze
for hopscotch and jump rope
no bulky clothes
to be able to run free
aching for Popsicles
and running through the sprinklers
shorts and bathing suits
oh and the beach
the scent of coconut oil
and the smell of the water
the sounds of the waves
lapping the shore
or playing in the rain
and now as the staccato
of fresh showers drum my roof
I think I shall go
play...
Would you care to join me?
A contest entry
- A Stroll Down Memory Lane (PW welcome) by thepoetsings.
700 points, ended August 2, 2008, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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There are some smells that still trigger very specific memories for me. (Certain kinds of plastic, for instance, remind me of a particular pair of floaties I had when I was little.) I think you did a really nice job of capturing summertime during childhood. (Even thought I didn't live anywhere near a beach.) I love the line you revised, and I also like the invitation that you extend to the reader in the end.
Thanks for sharing!
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cute so very cute!
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No editorial comments. Well, except to say that I'm a bit iffy on "as the staccato / drums my roof" (lines 21 and 22). But I'm still trying to decide. At any rate, will comment further on this piece when I'm judging. Thanks for the entry!
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thank you
I reworked it a bit I hope that is allowed...does this work better?
Leslee (techno-tard) -
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Oh, you're totally allowed to rework. I'll be judging whatever's here when the contest closes. It does read much more smoothly now, great!
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