The only thing that you must bring, ability to dance and sing;
Do not bow down before the King until the poet learns to sing.
Your voice must be a mighty thing for it can daunt the towering,
You need not stoop to cowering until the poet learns to sing.
The bold sky lark can take to wing and entertain the listening
But words will not be glistening until the poet learns to sing.
The dancers trip the highland fling to exercise the chattering,
Who don't indulge in flattering, until the poet learns to sing.
When you are hurt and suffering and doctors aren't delivering,
Your spirit sits there shivering until the poet learns to sing.
Before he ceases reasoning and while his mind is teetering,
Jeff loses rhyme and metering until the poet learns to sing.
Author notes
A ghazal in iambic octameter internally and externally rhymed
A contest entry
- Poetic Form: Ghazal - Prompt - Melancholy by Little Feather.
600 points, ended July 11, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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I knew I loved this one! Congratulations on the Gold!
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Thank you for your entry
Very true, very true. A poet must be able to dance in sing, but not in the traditional sense. They must be able to do so through their words. I think I am going to have to invest in a metronome. It will help me when judging these form contests. lol. I like that you managed to keep the lines the same length exactly. Har do do, I did wonder if the length refered to the number of words or the exact length of the line. I see though that you have done the latter.
Well done on the form, you followed it to the letter, six stanzas in total. Nice rhyme and flow. Good rhythm to it as well.
I encourage you to keep writing to read and comment.
God Bless
Tammy
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In Sanskrit lines are often written to be exactly the same length in poetry, physically the same length, that is not possible in html because it has no instructions that give the width of individual letters so I decided to use the traditional English poetic measure of syllables.
The rhyming is of course just me being me. In Farsi the definition of metrical units is different I believe but not knowing them I stuck to good old iambs.
I am glad you enjoyed it and thank-you for the gold!
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good.
Its a ghazal in English ...no doubt...and a good one..enjoyed.
Rahbar.
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*...love this write! But it doesn't strike me as the least bit melancholy...quite joyful, in fact. Must be the meter..it skips along!
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I'm trying to be a bit metaphorical, "learning to sing" meaning learning to be happy. Clearly that didn't work!!!
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And the prompt didn't say the poem had to be melancholy!
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a good exercise into poetic devices here, and you do capture some clear and very poignant images..
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This is a fascinating form and you have made it your own. I can't imagine a day when you will lose rhyme and metering and all your poems sing. Good luck in this contest. Peace, Liz
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I agree with the other comment, your pieces do always 'sing'
This is an interesting form that you have done quite well with...I love the internal and external rhyme and how you do it with such flow. Great write, good luck in the contest.
Jamie
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WE could form an AP choir.Now there's an idea.I haven't
seen this form before but I like it, Ros
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you lose something in metering and rhyme???I would be dead. That would never possibly happen...I mean no really...your pieces always sing...
id miss it
Well done and best of luck in the
contest.
Love you
Passions
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