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Diluted

Missing image
Gouge my semi rotten corpse with stained sin,
for you’ve awaited in the pitch shadows.
As you forever rip me limb by limb,
you’ll never comprehend these holes hollow.

Shallow are the verses you play in song,
as you digest my jots of chronicles.
I quibble in scribbles some ponder wrong,
diaries of death dread ink obstacles.

Powerless prophets spew of unbelief,
passing golden plates with hues of red dues.
Humble yourself for each sermon is brief,
sit in silence upon rose padded pews.

I’ve perished inside where promises hang,
from rusty old hinges of hearts with pang.

Author notes

-Sonnet-

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Comments

1 - 48 of 48

  • Slayer gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply
    jaysus! That was awesome and a half! I casually clicked on this, in a not quite awake state...Now I am fully awake...touched by a powerful poem.

  • samm
    August 5
    Edit | Reply
    very nicely done


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    August 5

    Edit | Reply

    I agree...wow!

    You pulled us in...capturingly..with those first stanza's
    and we were almost afraid to read where you lead us ...
    and then tenderly placed us upon the perished promises
    hung..from rusty old hinges of heart with pang.

    BRAVO! BRAVO!
    ears/Seattle

    hey..i've got some WD-40? oh, come on...that was funny
    you spring rooster!
    Sonnet master you are!
  • WOW! YOu have some powerful words there. nicely done. -Mandi

  • Blue Rew silver member
    July 9

    Edit | Reply
    This one screams, done hoping for any mercy.
    Just as the vision you've placed before the
    words seems in an agony to strike back at
    promises written...
    so your verse echoes the vision. Impacting.
    Blue

  • This is a wonderful sonnet, i love the picture you have used and the great vocabulary you have used to describe it so well, i love the
    "I quibble in scribbles some ponder wrong,
    diaries of death dread ink obstacles."

    so deep keep up the wonderful writing, ~Amy

    . Rewarded 6


  • NurseyPoo
    July 8

    Edit | Reply
    Very deep and thought provoking. You call to attention things we should all ponder. I love the ending, it says it all. Pen on...

    . Rewarded 4

  • I've persihed inside,as I sit and you mumbleyour words to me. I've heard both sides of my religious upbringing in the Russian Orthodox & Catholic Church. It isn't just enough to believe in God, which I do on my own. Not because of what they preached to me when I was younger, Interesting poem indeed, very thought provoking! ~Sie

    . Rewarded 6


  • 245Trioxin
    July 7

    Edit | Reply
    Naturally, I like your ending, I'm a sucker for a good ending (good ending, not happy ending). I prefer realism which you deliver.

    Some of your phrasing is exquisitely penned. semi rotten, I use metaphors to describe how I feel day to day as though I am the living dead; empty yet feeling myself emaciate, and no... they'll never understand what they do to others, acting out like a horse with blinders on being chased by bees.

    It does make me want to go back to synogogue though... The rabbi's I've had generally gave genuine advice, and wisdom, not just you're old "you've heard this a 1000 times and i'm just going to repeat it". crap. It's been too long since anyone's ever made any sense to me.

  • I adore your sonnet's...
    I see we are once again dancing with faith..~
    Very powerful write my dear brother...
    Amazing imagery....
    Many blessings
    ~A~

  • Hi Son,
    Compliments on Diluted. Just remember, Jesus can take away that pain. I Love you son. Dadxo

  • mysticstorm gold member
    June 28

    Edit | Reply
    Such depth and sorrow bleeds from every line...I sadly know this place in life and it is not a good feeling...
    this line is so wonderful intensely felt "passing golden plates with hues of red dues' and the last two line seal it perfectly in pain felt...wonderful work, my friend...
    Best to you dear poet.

  • I’ve perished inside where promises hang,
    from rusty old hinges of hearts with pang.

    this is a horrid place to be in life. looking at the picture reminded me of Jesus. you wrote this extremely well and its pain seeps through the screen and touches the readers heart. keep up the awesome writing. viyanna rosemarie

    . Rewarded 6

  • this is a really good poem
    fillled with wonder
    i really really liked it.
    xXx-xXx


  • Rianna Bear
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    in all your sonnets, i've always loved the last two lines the best. they always stand out and sum it up so well, like shakespeare's sonnets! -i've said that before, i'm sure of it.

    This was extremely dark, but w/so much passion behind each word. Though i love your romantic soft side, i REALLY enjoyed the darker shadows of pup! bravo!

  • I simply love the way you use your words they seem to jump off the page at me. Thanks for the great read.

  • You make suffering beautiful cuz! Another amazing write... The depth with this is astounding. Great job!

  • the suffereing within this piece is amazingly presented so that the reader can feel it and read it as well. it speaks with a lot of depth and left me wonderign. I hope that your ok uncle *hugs* i send you the ebst rainbow niece hugs ever.

  • Jalalbad gold member
    June 27

    Edit | Reply
    ahaaaaa poeticweaver what sufferings here! Sitting in silence on rose colored pews and seeing through rose colored glasses no doubt.
    And no doubt you are one of the best poets in AP.


  • ears2hearyou gold member
    June 27
    Edit | Reply

    Love, love, love

    rusty old hinges of hearts with pang...where promises
    once hanged.

    i loved it! big fan of dark writing that pierces denials
    and truths such as this poem feastingly did!
    ears/Seattle way to write dearest brother,
    way...to...write!
    (that pic is incredible too)

    . Rewarded 6

  • great depth, brought about many emotions, excellent many blessings always ~Trisha~

  • Timothy I am calling and calling..
    This has me This is so full of pain and sorrow..
    I love you so much.

    Please. Talk to me.
    I love you

    Victorious

  • Absolutely Maahvahlous!!!

    I love this poem for its stark, yet generous serving of metaphoric surrealism, reminding me of a Salvador Dali painting. I especially dig the last two lines
    "I’ve perished inside where promises hang,
    from rusty old hinges of hearts with pang."
    Great job!! So keep on keeping on Tim, and I'll be back to read more of your terrific masterpieces  soon!!! Take care, Cyn


    . Rewarded 8

  • Oh wow hun!! This is so beautifully sad and stirring. Great depth and powerful emotion coursing throughout. The intensity of inner thought is quite poignant. A great piece of expression indeed!!!


  • MoonsShadow gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    so many emotions in this , Tim you know how to write poetry as you like at a piture and feel their pain,much peace in this and good luck
    Linda

  • my daerest this has again brought me to tears for I have and always will wish i could take away the pain in your soul. you are able to pen it so elloquemtly with the guidance of the angels. my hardest verse that brought the most tears was stanza 1. - i hold you in my heart always but each stanza breathes with deep disdain on the spirit. well done and much love always xxxx many blessings always xxxx s for infinity

  • i just love the pic...... its awesome and so is this write..... hugs........ been a while how are you? what you been up too?

    • poeticweaver gold member
      June 26
      Edit | Reply

      Lil-Bit-Crazy

      Just in the shadows, thanks for caring.
      I'm always thankful for your visits. Peace.
1 - 48 of 48