SICK OF IT (Rated-R Language)

Being the one to hold my hand out for everyone; too generous
At least do the same for me once in a while you greedy fucks

Where the fuck were you when I needed you?
I ain't making plans no more, all you do is flop
I'm always fuckin' there, being in places I don't wanna be
But I always show my support even when I didn't have to

I call, you never fuckin' call back
I message, you never message back
I ditch plans for your ass, yet you're always too busy
My heart is on call 24/7; 4 in the morning, I was fuckin' there
Giving you rides, doing favours beyond the scope of my control
No questions asked; what kind of bullshit is this?

How the hell are we even friends? It's like a 90/10 relationship
The 90 being me and the 10 is ALL of you; Am I stupid or something?
All I do is care more than ANYONE, yet I get shit on
You say you're my 'boy'? You're my 'girl'?
Heh...you don't even know what the phrases mean

I never ask people for shit, and when I do; they're ghosts
Fuckin' vanished; can't find them until after the fact
I continue to put up with bullshit drama and lies
And still get fucked over constantly
What's the point in caring about anything? Pointless shit

Sick of being the one everyone comes to
When it's fucking convenient for them
All the fuckin' money and time I spend to make people happy
Is all a waste of life, but what's new?

I'm invisible in the large crowd; yet my heart's the biggest
What a joke life is; I do nothing but good for you motherfuckers
I don't get a shred of respect, you guys have no decency in you
When I'm the one who cares...I have the problem?
Are you guys fuckin' kidding me? Is everyone so blind?

You bitch asses try to find someone else like me, go ahead
Bet you won't find shit; I fuckin' put everything on the line
You guys say you're all 'givers'....HAHAHAHAHA
Dumb motherfuckers don't even know what that means
All of you are 'takers'...take, take, take, BOOM!
Till it kills an innocent passerby who is lending a helping hand

We talk about 'I'm sorry' and 'next week, next week'
What else...'nah, not feeling it' and 'maybe'
Yet when you ask, my loving ass can't say 'NO'
I always jump to be there for you; undeserving fuckers
'K, I'll call you back in 5 mins' then I don't hear from them for weeks
Am I that fuckin' unimportant? If something is going on
LET ME KNOW, I'M FUCKIN HERE; ALWAYS WAS...fuck

You say you care, and you're there for me
Learn the fuckin' definitions first; it's not when you feel like it
Once or twice I need you in life and you couldn't be there
I've been nothing but the 'epitome of a best friend'
Heard that from many of you myself; guys and girls
Yet instead of showing it back; you do nothing
Sit there like lazy idle pricks in your own worlds; no consideration
I don't ask for much man, fuck

I'm more than understanding if you're busy in life
Everyone is; but you can take five minutes out for me
I do it for your ass all the time
Honestly, if I died tomorrow; how many would find out?
Very fuckin' little; and it's those SAME people that I live for

We're suppose to live with 'no regrets' right?
Yet it's those same people who make all this shit regretful
My life is littered with regret after regret; fuckin' sad
No one said life was fair; I can deal with that
Just hope people can stop fuckin' running me over soon

I don't put rules on people and have zero restrictions
But maybe I fuckin' should seeing as how I get abused because of it
I keep forgiving over and over and over; people hate me for it
Still, no one cares; I don't talk to them for six months after anyways

I'm sorry for fuckin' trying to be the best person I can be
For each and everyone one of you I tried to be a saint
And I just get broken for it each time; each fuckin' time
As you all fill my head with lies, false thoughts and broken promises
Whilst I worship the very same people; fuck everyone

I regret so much shit; seems like everything I do is a mistake
Funny, people can simply move on and leave me behind; 'oh well' they think
But at the same time; they care..HAHAHAHAHA
People treat others like shit and it's ok? I do the right thing and what?
'Don't worry, you'll find another, others that care"
I doubt it's even worth it; I hate this place in my life
Everything; family, school, friends, love
They all seem to be ready to kill me for fuckin' good

I come forward to be nice, 'how you doing? How's life?'
Then you push me away further and further
Forget it; I'm done, it's in my blood to be a good person...sorry!
Didn't know that being a fuckin' life-sucking jackass
Pays more than caring about everyone around you; sadistic irony

You all do ME wrong, and then YOU want to leave?
I don't get it at all; sorry I must be the fucked up one
This is the fuckin' tenth time that's happened to me
Friends and love alike; it's all the fuckin' same shit
As long as you all satisfy your own selfish desires
At my expense, my happiness and waste my time...it's ok right?

But I shouldn't be mad? I should just be like you all?
'Oh well, life goes on' as if it is so fuckin' easy?
I have many friends, had some lovers; everyone's a front
I don't know many who deserves what I do for the people I care about
I've dealt with death, racism, violence, alcohol
Family disarray, health problems; just to name a few
But I STILL tried to make you all happy though it

You people don't do shit for me, I should fuckin' hate you all
Giving me a call after 6 months, that makes you a friend?
Saying you care about me than breaking our bond...makes you a friend?
All of your guys little ass sacrifices don't compare to one of mine
I made everything about YOU all; yet even afterwards
The smoke has cleared; you still have to be selfish? ALWAYS ABOUT YOU
I DIDN'T care when my health was affected or when I almost killed myself
I still did whatever it took to make everyone happy; still LOVED you
But you all just leave; leave me alone in this world
As I deal with deathly stress, wondering where you all are
How you all are doing, and why we haven't spoke

Reciprocity seems to be a concept of old; HAHAHAHA
I'm on my fuckin' breaking point with everything; everyone
I want to leave; dip to Vegas and never fuckin' come back

I'm sorry for being the special guy in your lives
I pay a price for being the best person I can; and I hate it
You all go on and do whatever the fuck you want
I won't fuckin' chase anymore; you guys don't deserve it
My heart and body are in shambles because I try to make you all happy
And instead of trying to help fix me through it, you all run
Fuck you all, seriously

I call you a sister; yet you treat me like you met me yesterday
You call me your boy; yet you only think of yourself over everyone
Love...HA don't get me started; read all my other poems for that
So SORRY for being a brother and lover; didn't know it was a bad thing
SORRY for being there whenever the fuck you all wanted me to be
Never knew that loving too much was so 'evil'
That loving too much would drive people away; I'm fuckin' dumb
I'm a fighter, I fight for everything I NEED; impossible is nothing
But I'm the wrong one? Fuck outta here

My mind is ready to burst and my heart is ready to jump out
I wanna break someone's neck right about now; fuckin' shit
This was a lengthy rant, you guys haven't seen this side of me
It's how I feel, it's the story of my life
I'm mad at the world; and rightfully fuckin' so
And now, I have no one; all alone watching the war
My heart and mind never stop; using my body as a battlefield

I'M SICK OF IT


FUCKING



SICK OF IT