While I am here and she is there,
over ten thousand miles between
sharing the same feelings,
same love, same ache, same dream;
visualising all that ocean
yet here we are in one same spot,
never felt such closeness
so together... but we're not.
I'm trying to paint a ticket,
for when the time's in sight,
right now it's only hearts and souls
which ever take to flight.
And so we speak our nights away
though she calls it the morning,
we tease each-other about miracles,
that we'll turn up without warning.
Living in a God given gift
you can only trust what's come so far,
praying for a way to change things,
yet loving the way we are.
In a universal meeting where
morning and night's the same,
beyond the world a beauty
a heart and a heart contain.
A contest entry
- Moment of Truth - Round 1 of 3 by Arkbear.
400 points, ended July 2, 12 entries
Honorable winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Welcome any sincere response and critique
Comments
1 - 28 of 28
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Smartly written and genuinely heartfelt too!
which is good...cause this granny carries a mighty
iron cast fry pan if you ever dare to break her heart.
and my little aussie Mandi would bite you real good too!
we love both of you...Sol!
way to write! your hearts seem truly genuine!
ears/protective granny.
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I never thought of you as a granny..
so glad you're such a loving one!
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Congratulations on your HM.I would have given it Gold.A sharp reminder of how lucky I am to have my loved one here with me.Well done.This was beautiful, Ros
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Thank you Ros,
I really appreciate your comments and I'm sorry I'm so slow to get around to expressing it properly sometimes.
Sol
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I enjoyed your wording and the depth of emotion in this. I especially like,
'visualising all that ocean
yet here we are in one same spot,
never felt such closeness
so together... but we're not.'
I feel, sometimes, even though many miles separate souls, that they are still connected and close in a way that can't be defined properly....if that makes any sense...lol...
anyways.....great write! Congrats on the HM!
blessings
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... Makes complete sense to me, thank you boomer.
Sol
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You spelled visualising wrong, it’s visualizing.
I found this poem from you very poetically strong.
There is just enough words to keep the rhymes going
and there is also good images to support the structure. I find the fifth stanza to be awkward. I think it’s the second line. Too many words to hear the rhyme I think. Stutters the movement. And that’s it. Not much critically to mention. I enjoyed this piece. The third stanza reminds me that as a species we are always changing, always trying to make a difference, little or big. We grow as people when we write. I think it is important to always remember our Voices.
Strong piece you.
Lovely.
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Thank you James
Spilt out quickly when I saw Bear's contest prompt.
'Visualising'... sure there isn't a variant
? ... I Will check 
The 5th stanza : I do see what you mean totally and know that you're right but I think it's 'the devil in me'. I hear this stanza more like a snippet of lyric from a rock song or some thing and often quite like to break continuos beat, as it sometimes can feel a bit stiff ... forgivable do you think?
Thank you muchly!
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As far as I know, it is spelled wrong. But maybe there is another spelling, somewhere. If you hear that stanza lyrically than I can see what you mean. Sometimes we have to keep a few words here and there, but I was thinking in context to your piece, as a whole. Of course it is forgivable! 
Silly emerald.
You're welcome.
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Sorry to interrupt you boys. Couldn't help but mention -
visualising - UK version
visualizing - US version
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Thank you! I had no idea there were two spellings...Me being over here in the states! You rock.
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You're very welcome. You rock yourself.
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sigh sigh sigh
yes yes yes
contained in hearts... beautiful
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x
Thank you
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Strange
Strange it seems that te world has become so much smaller but yet in matters of the heart it can seem years away. I bid you a forever love and the poets words that are always captivating. Write on dear poet
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Thanks for calling by Bob
and for your kind words.
Sol
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One of the best love poems I've read. I know this feeling, which is why I probably identify so closely.
It's the ache...
Love, Lane
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Thank you so much Lane!
Sol
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Geezzz.....I almost fell in love with you myself!
:)
Simply adoreable write with so many wonderful thoughts splashed upon your page ~
Each stanza held so much personal yearning info....I felt as though I should go buy you a ticket right now!
I am always blessed by your work Sol....you never let us down with pure delight in your spilled ink ~
Loved your rhyme.....and this stanza is very important..>>>
visualising all that ocean
yet here we are in one same spot,
never felt such closeness
so together... but we're not.Keep believeing dude....you're going to be with her before you know it :)
God bless both of you and thank you for entering,
Bear ~
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Your comments are always so uplifting Bear.
Seeing your prompt made this one spill out and now we both have the pleasure of it. Thanks so much for that, your generous words and also for the honour.
You're GREAT!
Take care
Sol -
God bless your great big heart, Bear!
Sol
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Best wishes in the contest!
Well penned.
Write on!
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Beautiful Love poem to your lady..God Bless!
Ruby
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*sits with one hand over her heart, other over her mouth in speechlessness and happy/sad tears in her eyes*
You're beautiful.X
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You X
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Beautiful
This is outstanding my dear friend! I was blown away by this very loving write.
I have been there so i understand the feelings behind the beauty penned.
And so we speak our nights away
though she calls it the morning,
we tease each-other about miracles,
that we'll turn up without warning.
Living in a God given gift
you can only trust what's come so far,
praying for a way to change things,
yet loving the way we are.
In a universal meeting where
morning and night's the same,
beyond the world a beauty
two hearts just can't contain.
amazing and sweet,
hugs
~Lisa~
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Much thanks to your sweet heart Lisa.
Sol
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