Can you not see I am an embedded
ass-shot, red hot quilled porcupine?
Until Saddam Hussein is beheaded.
Why is my skull now perforated?
Blood comes out with turpentine.
Can you not see I am an embedded?
Journalist all CNN affiliates have dreaded.
(I think I'll snort this fat [coke] line.)
Until Saddam Hussein is beheaded.
Will this war, as a holiday, be celebrated?
(I think while jacking smack on my porcelain shrine.)
Can you not see I am an embedded?
Journalist being impersonated?
(I borrowed this thought, it was never mine.)
Until Saddam Hussein is beheaded.
Fuck, while I was talking, my Scotch evaporated.
Eight plus one minus zero is nine.
Must everything be so paper shredded?
Will this war, as a holiday, be celebrated?
Author notes
War is for monkeys and madmen.
Written January 2nd, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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Sure, it's a villinelle (loosely) written about
4 or 5 years ago basically encompassing my take
on war and journalism and propaganda in America.
Rupert Murdoch (the clown that owns fox news) is an NWO capitalistic asshat that should be dethumbed by slowly driven volkswagon bugs. He's a crusty cancor sore, and a corporate monster.
I brought the poem to this site in 2004, but it was originally written at poemranker.com back in 2003, I believe. -
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Another superb entry. Your used of a fixed form demonstrates an intelligent knowledge of poetry. Your perceptive comments throughout do strike a chord with my own beliefs. I am British and I fundamentally disagreed with the decision to go to war. I would have joined the main protest, but I had to go to school (I was in enough trouble as it was)
Your use of those repeated lines is interesting, 'embedded' referring perhaps to a grave. However, one slight criticism of this work is that although it is metaphorical to an extent, there are direct references to the subject matter eg. Saddam Hussein. A very intelligent and interesting poem.
Thank you for entering my contest and good luck! -
I judge poetry on it's merits, not on how well it coincides with my beliefs. You are aware I enjoy your work but you may not be aware how often we don't agree on the content. That isn't necessary for poetry to be expressive, enjoyable and even informational. I say not only are you a talented Jew
you also have the balls to state what you feel even when others disagree.
~~~POO~~~
Edited on May 07, 2:52 p.m. because ''. -
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I'm about as kosher as deer blood gravy.
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remarkable write
I think Fox News doesn't ever dessimate news. They dessiminate right wing propaganda, and that's all they do. The title brought me to read this, but after reading it, I am puzzled as to the purpose of the title. The villanelle itself is far better than some of your others, and I've read a myriad of villanelles. I do think that the title may draw people to read the poem however, so that's a positive thing. Since you're a professor (?), I hesitate to tell you that I'd give the villanelle an A and the title a B-. (But I didn't hesitate long.) Truthfully, the poem is great, but the title is not up to the rest of the poem. Incidently, I don't use that type of four letter word in my poems as a rule, and I hope you don't either. However, here it worked. -
I found this poem witty and mind-opening. Thank you for writing it. The picture fit perfectly with the poem as well. I love the repitition. I give it a thumbs up.
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Great write here buddy! i loved it! i think that just about everybody can agree that war has gone way over its rightful limits and im sure all of us hate it with a passion! this poem brings out all of that! thank you so much for entering my contest and best of luck!
~Dezy -
Great work, that is all I can say- be a mirror, be the one who points out and asks, be the one who shows.
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Ha, the words you used made me laugh! Angular sarcasm. I liked this very much my friend.
Mina x -
I love the imagry in here. It also seems kind of like a bunch of flasbacks. Either way, it was excellent. The message was clear. Thanks for entering.
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this is really a good poem and i think that all can agree that this war has gone way to far. the media does an excellent job of both, doing as the title suggests, and reminding us of the horrors that continue to take place. When I read the title I immediately thought of the movie "Bowling For Columbine" and it showed the relationship between the news we watch and the violence/fear our society has. really rather pathedic. anyways, wonderful write. Keep at it.
Peace and Love,
XOXO SammiJo -
Well this won't reach everyone, but it is a great write. Have you written other political poems? *goes off to check* I will look forward to reading them, and commenting on them as a reader and very new and raw poet.
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I have read so much about war in this contest that my eyes have gone buggy. My standpoint is that enough is enough. If Iraq STILL cannot fend for itself then what can we do about it? People here would like to have their families back and people there are probalbly pretty sick and tired of seeing the troops loitering their streets intimidating them as much as Hussein did twith their bombs and guns and crap. What the hell does Bush think he is goin gto do? Make a New U.S.A on Iraqi soil? Corupt that country further by leaving the greedy seeds of democracy there? I don't think Irag is ready to swallow the full force of a demoracy, but hey, who are we to judge. It is still their country even if the almight coalition doesn' want to face it, let them mark out what their children's future will be. Enough have died by foreign hands already, if more die, let their blood stain the hands of the Iraqi people and not anyone else.
Best wishes, good luck and thank you for ebtering. Hope I am not too far off the mark but then if I am I can't help it any.
Have to have a topic number becuase I have reminded people all the way through the contest and I can welch on the rule now the contest is closed and in judging.
~genielassie~ -
No Complaints
I like the image you used for the poem. But then again, it is images like those that elicit sympathy without remorse. The one line that rings out, but I don't quite understand is "Eight plus one minus zero is nine"--with the exception of the nine syllable count, I don't see the relevance...Good stuff though. -
Listen that's swell and everything, but why do you care? And I don't believe you anyway. You are a censor, that's my opinion, and frankly you are as bad as the lot of them. Living a lie! Over words? Poets, talented poets are bickering about words? People are ill, dying, sick, overlooked and you want to stereo type my poetry over the word nigger. When black rappers I work with every day call eachother niggers and worse? My nephew is black. I'm fucking jewish, but no... The word nigger is still upestting people. Whatever, HOPELESSLY close minded people. I can't figure it out. We fought and died not to pigeon hole eachother. I believe I am a human being with the write to say anything I want to in the right context. Period. Until you understand that. Don't blow smoke up my ass, and tell me the world's just peaches, because, I'll call you on it.
Edited on Oct 28, 1:30 because ''. -
uhh...uber touching-u so totally have kids down...thats kinda scary....
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nice write
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You did it again. Sent a shock value throughout your words. You can make the hairs stand on my arms with the chills. I wonder, will we have an anniversary celebration of the first day we bombed the children? Thanks for sharing, keep it up! *Villanelle* is spelled wrong in your title!
Much Love,
Renee
Edited on Jan 03, 2:37 because ''.
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