Memories that linger
Beside every teardrop
Chain me up
Fantasies I dreamt of,
Those that just drifted away
Engulf the glowing light in me
Reaching out for a hand
That’ll pull me out
Of this crack of sorrow I slipped into
Facing each day
With an bruised heart
And a tainted soul
A gleaming ray of light is shone
Among this pile of tragedy I built up
And I reach out harder,
Just so I’d escape this nightmare
~
A contest entry
- WOW YOU WON'T BELIEVE THIS!!! by elmundopasa1.
300 points, ended July 4, 2008, 21 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
And I reach out harder,
Just so I’d escape this nightmare" I love this line. It really captures what I was looking for in the prompt. -
this is very cool!. every part i read was my fave! great job!
-
recently your poems are about hope aye? are you lost somewhere? hehe. This is really great, i just so so love the way you twist words and squeeze out the essence of their beauty for intance:
"A gleaming ray of light is shone
Among this pile of tragedy I built up"
well i can think of what to say but simply im speechless by my amazement of this line.
"Memories that linger
Beside every teardrop
Chain me up"
So true, each innocent sudden tear drop we have is most likely cost by our sad memories. That tear drop carries our sorrow, and once we flow out our sorrows from our innocet stained eyes we somehow feel good..
Well gona drag my clappy friends again! damn i have to do this all the time read your poems, what a great writer you are(muahahaha) dont mind that lol....


-
Surreal
This poem touches me dearly; as I know she can pull me out of this hole. Everyone around me knows I've slipped into a shit place...I don't want to stay but I love her...
"A gleaming ray of light is shone
Among this pile of tragedy I built up
And I reach out harder,
Just so I’d escape this nightmare"
Beautiful ending to this poem; saying that's all you need is someone to grab your hand as you reach out. Nice language and structure, pristine darkness. 8.5/10!




