When looking out on ocean waves
my mind is set adrift
To times when we had seized the days
and unwrapped all its’ gifts
Memories are the residue
of minds not yet at peace
Firm embers of the ‘me and you’
still warm but out of reach
A golden sun kneels humbled
to pray with folded hands
Before his day has crumbled
like castles in the sand
And yet to rise tomorrow
and shine from cloudless skies
The ebb and flow of sorrow
washed clean by tear filled eyes
Memories are the residue
of minds that can not sleep
Soft ashes of the ‘me and you’
are all I have to keep
Author notes
And still I dream.....
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Wow this is so beautiful, I love the nature of the poem. Wonder flow of words, and awsome detail work. It was a pleasure to read.
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And when I dream...
I dream of you. Do you know that song? that's what came to mind at reading your poem. Lovely pen!
Regards,
Jennifer
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beautiful and oh so lovely...
Oh I loved every stanza...
It draw me closer and closer till I was totally held captive by this piece. Great job!!!
Blessed be
-Blanche
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awwww wow, this is very lovely thanks so much for the link. very enjoyabel to read, yet sad, take care
stephanie
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Hold fast my friend ...
for each day offers you new life and new love, as I notice from all your commentors who are there for you and as you make your way unto heaven where there is a bright promise of peace. Your poem is sad and yet the answer is clearly contained within. I like your rhyme and cadence and form and that little smile that makes you who you are! joy
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Leo
here is my comment [used the last lines of each of your stanzas]:
Ash-ember gifts
And unwrapped, all its gifts
are given back, to ‘me and you’
To use, as we now drift,
and cherish, their memories too.
Still warm, but out of reach,
my heart feels this, for you.
Now, movements on our beach,
kindle embers, silent too.
Like castles in the sand,
they offer times of our love.
In mind, they’ll always stand,
in peace they're like a white dove.
Washed clean by tear-filled eyes,
my heart can once more shine.
The weight, heavy with chastise,
has turned in tide of decline.
Are all I have to keep -
unwrapped gifts of ‘me and you’?
There are also ash-embers, deep
that will cherish, togetherness too.
Frans
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This poem is filled with metaphors ...
of profound meaning: ocean (origin); sun (life, Life, Light, Love); embers and ashes (hope and loss); castles in sand (futility and fleetingness); ebb and flow (repetitiveness, cycles); clouds (depression, obscurity, but also possibilities) ...
Strung together, the heart personified nature to get closure and to be washed clean in healing ...
Such a very well constructed poem. Now do that with your life, too, Poet. You have faith, hope, and Love.
Love
Myra
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Oh how this makes my heart ache. You've taken hold of the strings and tugged them tight. So beautiful. soft and tender.
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The shore gives way to tides that ride
suggestions from the heart
Emotions bottled up inside
will always do their part
To let loose that which saunters in
when unexpected be
left standing with amazement's grin
and possibility
Though waters separate us now
we will some day take hold
and make a friendly solemn vow
to gather in the fold
As if the oceans keep us part
and moons delay our meet
We still share joy within our hearts
and as One we're complete
Thanks for the inspiration.
I LOVE YOU ♥
Renee
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I'm literally speechless. I'm honored by the beauty of your reply.
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Very pretty Leo, lovely rhythm and rhyme, don't give up your dreams for they are there to be achieved. Love, C
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"Memories are the residue
of minds that can not sleep
Soft ashes of the ‘me and you’
are all I have to keep"
This is so hauntingly beautiful, Leo. The remains of a love lost that plucks at the heart strings and keeps sleep from one is a fervently vicious thing. You have taken the heart and ravaged it with this poem. Wonderful piece! Patricia
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The sadness echoes throughout this poem, Leo and yet it gives the hopes for a new day. Your last stanza, for me, is especially touching.
A beautifylly written, sort of meloncholy piece.
Dee
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Bittersweet memories never really leave us.
We carry them in out heart with pain and still sweet thoughts.
You could not have descibed this any better!
Wonderfully sad!
~Lisa~
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Very beautiful and sad. Heart break is an awful pain and sometimes can hurt more than childbirth. It is very much like the sea. Raging, and fierce, yet calm as the ebb rolls in. Thanks for sharing, this is a winderful write.
~S~G
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