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inside the envelope









with trembling hands,
you held folded truth;

a card full of nothing

but my signature











A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 14 of 14
  • Congrats on thy Bronze =]

    You are talented...

    I love "trembling hands" & the images it has--trembling because of dread for the news...or knowledge of the imminent news?

    "but my signature"
    I like that you separate this from the other lines...it has a measured effect.

    You are probably the most talented poet near my age...all these 13/14/15/16-year-olds write some disgusting things I can hardly read...I am pleased you are not one of them.

    I need to read more of your stuff


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 26
    Edit | Reply
    Well deserved trophy my friend. Pizzaburgers on me...


  • apples fell gold member
    June 26
    Edit | Reply

    On yes and congrats babe on your cup!

  • yay congrats on the bronze

  • apples fell gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply

    There is something dark here...I can't quite put my finger on why I feel that way, but there is. Maybe a little sadness too. It's "the card full of nothing" line. This is short and well done. No crits. That I can see at least. Nice work Tyler.

    ;

    • That's because you actually understood the allegory. [unlike the others...] lol
      Woohoo!

      it's about literally the invitation & the lust aspect -- but then there's a different meaning, basically that I have nothing to say to the person [because that's all he wanted: a fuck buddy.]

      Thanks for the comment.

      • apples fell gold member
        June 26
        Edit | Reply

        Fuck buddies are never the way to go. Most times you end up feeling like a cheap slut, used and abused. I have always been good at seeing underneath. Reading the shadows. Welcome to the lovely world of shithouse humanity, heh? And you are welcome.

        • haha thanks for the welcome. lol

          you know, the one guy i do meet that is genuine, has to move up to alabama. that totally sucks!
          i mean there are other genuine guys but man, they suck at conversation. there's no one else i really click with.

          ha. but yeahhh hopefully that will change.

          • apples fell gold member
            June 26
            Edit | Reply

            All in time. I think it's all a matter of luck, really. I'll keep my fingers crossed for you though. Of course. Sometimes it's good to be a loner as well. It gives you lots of poetic and creative freedom.

            But yes, that will change eventually.

  • crimsondew silver member
    June 26
    Edit | Reply
    Wonderful invitation...well written..All the best!

  • ooohhh, this is deep and beautiful, i really love this
    wonderful write and good luck
    take care
    stephanie

  • Oh well I like this goodluck in the contest best wishes and many blessings


  • Angelflower Greeters member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    Ooh!!! this was really good!!! very unique!!! You did a great job! best of luck!!

    Angel

  • Cannonsfire silver member
    June 26
    Edit | Reply
    Oh my, now that is hot! I love it! Love, C

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