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what wasn’t there in midair







attained appreciation required
attempts to move mountains-

cable car steadily climbed
pride’s peak
until wind came on too strong,

stealing more than soil,
snapping strongest wire;

fallen into a frozen lake,
through its ice,
into bedded limestone

where I carved my crater
with lightning-chisel-force

& found everything afloat
in waters that would
evaporate anyway






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Comments


  • phantasyintrigue-x silver member
    August 2

    Edit | Reply
    "attained appreciation"
    Liked this alliteration...and also the feeling of effort felt in getting that appreciation, FINALLY.

    "pride's peak/until wind came on too strong"
    Okay, good metaphor with the wind. It's ambiguous.

    "stealing more than soil"
    I LOVE THAT!!! Again, ambiguous, metaphorical, & so inventive.

    "into bedded limestone"
    Love that.

    "that would evaporate anyway"
    Meaningful & a climactic ending...


  • Faithbound gold member
    June 26

    Edit | Reply
    Nice, tight write. The end is something I have felt a million times over.


    • Tangled Angle
      June 26

      Edit | Reply
      Doesn't it suck? The irony is that we are drowning in what is going to evaporate anyway. So it's like, we tried as much as we died for & because of nothing.

      • Faithbound gold member
        June 26
        Edit | Reply
        Oh sweetie, I totally got the irony. Like I said, I have felt that way a million times over. Everything we do is sort of pointless in a way when all we are gonna do is die someday. Though I do believe in God & Heaven; sometimes the world seems bigger even when it isn't.