The wish I wish,
Is not a simple wish…
“I wish
For a girl who knows me so true
That when the time comes,
And I’m in one of those darkest
Corners of the vast wonders of my mind,
She’ll simply come over to me,
Pass her arms around my neck
And hold my hands in her palms.
And with the warmth of her breath,
She’ll whisper into my ears
I’ll never have to scream at the wall,
I’ll never have to wonder if they really care,
I’ll never have to let my words fall on deaf ears,
As long she’s right next to me”
…But merely a dream
That’ll never come true.
Author notes
well, this is how i really felt atm.
11/07/2008:
hey hey!! gud news, i think i found that girl!!!
Do you like it?
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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Very deep, nicely put
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This is a really strong piece of work, very cleverly crafted, fantastic use of imagry really pulls at the readers emotions, thankyou, I love this so much
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This is very nice, one of your better writes (in my opinion)
'Pass her arms around my neck
And hold my hands in her palms.
And with the warmth of her breath,
She’ll whisper into my ears'
The imagery in this bit was breathtaking. -
i'm trying to be that girl for someone.
circumstances are getting in the way, though.
i hate circumstances.
p.s. amazing.
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Aww, Sach, I'm stalking you, member? I'll make it come true! <3
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LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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wow,... very very good poem
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wahoo! i like it, Chipperz! its a nice poem and a great wish! its very sweet! jusst beautiful! nice nice nice nice nice nice (times a billion) work! I LOVED IT!
-Adria
oh! guess wut im gonna say next? HUGGLEZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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this is deep! i liked it alot, and your words were were so raw and powerful with emotions! your last stanza was just heart-breaking! keep penning!
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I sincerely doubt that your dream wont come true. With this poem i almost fell for you myself. It was so beautifully put together yet sadly pulled at my heart. So much passion and pain in one poem is deffinitely a true work of art. I LOVES IT
loves U from sunny
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lol. the dream already did...a couple days after i wrote this poem! lol.
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find out her dreem and make them come true
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yes i will
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Very Good
Glad you found that special girl
The last line was sad,
... But merely a dream
That'll never come true
But it did anyways, loved the poem -
awww....
X3 couldnt resist saying it.
I lovededededed ett...XD sorry, im in a really grand mood. X3
and great going on finding someone! ^^
great write. ^^
staygold.
-jenn
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very good I like, it flows good. Emotional and im sure a lot of people feel this way...I can't really guess what problem your facing but is it something to do with questing yourself? Or are you wondering if people really care? Im not sure not good at that kind of stuff.....Anyway nice poem and keep up the great work! ^_^
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Its very emotional!
I really like it!
Great write! -
All I dream about is bubblegum land! I hope that you do, too! Bubblegumland IS real. Cool poem. I should have looked at the catagories 'cause I hate mushy! Are you sad? When I'm sad, I talk to my mommy!
-Aliens Are Still Invading Earth
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can you take me to bubblegumland?!?! i wanna go cuz i know that it's reallll!!!!!!! plz take me!!!!!!!!!!! lol
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i totaly agree with marvelousmandi!! i love this poem, its emotional, its lovely and very nervy-like!!! lols
keep it up,
shannon xx
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I like this alot, i have been down this road before..
because you always are wondering in the back of your mind " do they care, do they really love me, do they really want to be with me? all thos emotions bottled up up inside.. And all you wanna do is just scream!
Because you are to shy to let the one person you really like know how you really feel.I mean i maybe wrong..
All in all i really like this piece.
-Mandi
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=]
I love it x
I don't have to tell you what its about.
Cus you know =]
Scribble Scribble hun xx
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good writing!
i liked this alot cause of the wishful thinking style and the flexiblity with grammer. could use some more descriptive words infrong of some of the nouns to paint the picture more clearly. i think ur problem is ur confidence has been broken by somthing or other and you need somone in your life to build it up again. lol send me that answer in interested and once again, good write
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