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Mother Murder

Missing image
Under the coffee table you dropped
and rolled off into another dimension
I imagine you often, forgotten there
Next to a chewed up lego and pen cap
Peering out at the idea of recovery
The clean light of another maybe now
Can you hear the morning news and drip
of go go juice going away without you?
Missing upon the backs of boxed up milk
And fully capable of going bad at will

If you see her wave
When you can, then do
If you spot her please pray
Old mother, is brand new

Toasters, blenders & Microwaved mind benders
Refrigerated dinners, and power ball winners
Check the mail twice today, and be that okay
With how you can switch channels, and still pay
It back in slippers, Weight watchers, and flannel

The mother of all best kept secrets has passed
Between your last sick day, and her hot flash.

Author notes


Written January 2nd, 2004

In a list

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5

  • Alone inside
    April 7, 2005
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    Another great poem from you You are such a talented poet and i love reading your work. Great job on this and good luck.


  • OmniscientNDumb
    April 7, 2005
    Edit | Reply
    I liked it from the time I read the title. It is something I want to do, best not ask why. Anyway, on to critiquing:
    I didn't understand it much, or at all. But the first like, five (six? seven? i'll count later) lines were pretty interesting. (It's later) six lines. The person above me kinda said it already though. I'll read and re critique in the morning, or afternoon if I remember. I'm tired, so not right now. I'm applauding and commenting now because I clicked ur featured thing to get here and I didn't wanna waste ur points. Ok, bye now.


  • B2oH
    January 5, 2004
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    PDF

    Har har. I love it when the reviews say "It must be important to you." Polite speak for saying, "Uh...yeah. Lemme just edge away here before you spew anything disgusting at me..."

    I, as well, have no clue what you're groveling for with this piece, but it doesn't really matter. Each phrase brings, to me, a meaning that is infinitely more important since, well, I am the reader ¿sepa lo que significo?.

    Love the first six lines the best. Infinite possiblities existing under the coffee table is an excellent idea and more than a bit exciting to consider.

    Meaninglessly meaningful (cuz I got a decoder ring).


  • plinkyponk
    January 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    the whole world is totally crazy but noone seems to notice. to me your poems have meaningless meanings to me so much reflective of our times. went and had a look round a sculpture place in a university and it was so full of angst yet when i was looking round an insane asylum the inmates were all doing beautiful things.you manage to do both.or do i mean meaningful meaninglessness yeah meaningless meaning yeah both of them five
    Edited on Jan 02, 7:39 p.m. because ''.


  • -Twilight-
    January 2, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    good

    Good write, I'm not too sure what this is totally about, I had to read it twice, and I only got the meaning of the first lines: "Under the coffee table you dropped
    and rolled off into another dimension.
    I imagine you often, forgotten there.
    Next to a chewed up lego and pen cap.
    Peering out at the idea of recovery.
    The clean light of another maybe now.
    Can you hear the morning news and drip
    of go go juice going away without you?
    Missed upon the backs of boxed cowings.
    And fully capable of going bad at will."

    ^^
    Meaning that a mom juss sometimes needs to get away right, or passing out on the floor? I don't really know, so I'm sorry ((lol)) but It seems filled with a emotion, probably important to you!

    Keep up the good work and take care

    Steph

1 - 5 of 5