He used to be so free
like a child
he laughed at the moon
and chuckled at the stars
then someone laughed at him.
Now he's quiet as death
like a tomb
a grave
they stole his words
his chuckle
his joy
Now he works long hours
at a job he despises
and she lays her head on his chest
to feel his heart beating
slowly, slowly.
A contest entry
- You're Not Here Anymore by Annexed Josephine.
300 points, ended June 26, 2008, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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I didn't really understand it but I like the words you use as chuckle just because I love the classic sound of it. (I am a passion classical poet) THe writing though was very excellent. I just felt like I didn't know who she was I'm guessing the child and I'm guessing chuckle at stars ment he was hopeful. HTere I would say the message is so emotional to me because I often get scared to think that. What if as hopeful I was as a child now wat the age of 19!! and two months it just makes me a lot more rushing and nervous as I have set high goals for myself. Sometimes thinking too much is bad.
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Sometimes thinking too much can be bad, but otherwise, what do you really have except thoughts and faith? I'm glas to hear that you like it. Yes, chuckling at the stars means he's hopeful and he just finds joy in every little thing, really. Thank you for your comment.
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Ouch! I can identify with these words, how joyful freedom can be so easily crushed. Great work.
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A very very good write. Wonderful take on the contest prompt. I enjoyed the read. Good luck in the contest.
Kelli -
aww this was sad. I feel the need to know more. Almost like a soap opera lol! I enjoyed reading this one. Thanks for sharing
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