Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

It Only Hurts When I'm Breathing

Understand how you suffocate me,
and the pain you put me through.
It only hurts when I'm breathing,
Your scent kills if I'm next to you.

Just leave me the hell alone
the air is just too much to take.
one more breath of your scent
and my lungs will surely break.

Get the hell away from me!
Why don't you, can't you realize:
You've intoxicated the atmosphere,
With your fucking putrid lies.

You're giving me fucking cancer
Through what's left of my soul.
What's worse is what you took,
and how my innocence you stole.

It only hurts when I'm breathing..
But I can survive without breath,
So fuck you and everything you did,
Your actions will not cause my death.

A contest entry

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • God is my reality
    August 10, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I have to delete this due to foul language. I'm sorry, it's a good poem and would have been on top, but I think cussing takes away poetry.


  • Snow White Queen
    July 30, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Dude, I soooo agree with my sis Praise this is AWESOME!!!!!!


  • Poetic Drug
    July 4, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    you are disqualified it broke most of my rules so pay attention next time but it won't let me delete it


  • Hata mig
    June 26, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    O.O Whoa...That last stanza just about made my eyes pop out of my head! I'm still reading it....Wow. W-O-W. I love it!! This is exactly the type of poem I'm looking for and the words just took my breath away...And now I'm speechless...Great work and good luck! wow...

    God bless,
    ~Praise~


  • crazymomma
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    I really love the raw and powerful emotion in this. I hope to hell it isn't personal and if it is God bless. I have been there too. I am glad you know you will survive


  • Livingemptyspaces
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Eep. Back ground makes it a little hard to read.

    S2L2 too much to take

    Beautiful here. The rhyme was light and not killing with forcefulness. The feeling.. It's raw.

    Great job and good luck in the contest.

    -Le


  • BiteMe93
    June 25, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    Wow. I love this. I really like the part about the scent. Good Job!

  • NickG
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    Great Writing this is! absolutely love the defiance not to give in as bad as things get. Also quote me if im wrong but I would say the metaphorical meanings in this is if there is one , is just Sublime

1 - 8 of 8