Understand how you suffocate me,
and the pain you put me through.
It only hurts when I'm breathing,
Your scent kills if I'm next to you.
Just leave me the hell alone
the air is just too much to take.
one more breath of your scent
and my lungs will surely break.
Get the hell away from me!
Why don't you, can't you realize:
You've intoxicated the atmosphere,
With your fucking putrid lies.
You're giving me fucking cancer
Through what's left of my soul.
What's worse is what you took,
and how my innocence you stole.
It only hurts when I'm breathing..
But I can survive without breath,
So fuck you and everything you did,
Your actions will not cause my death.
A contest entry
- Fire and Ice by Nyangel.
455 points, ended July 27, 2008, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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I have to delete this due to foul language. I'm sorry, it's a good poem and would have been on top, but I think cussing takes away poetry.
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Dude, I soooo agree with my sis Praise this is AWESOME!!!!!!
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you are disqualified it broke most of my rules so pay attention next time but it won't let me delete it
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O.O Whoa...That last stanza just about made my eyes pop out of my head! I'm still reading it....Wow. W-O-W. I love it!! This is exactly the type of poem I'm looking for and the words just took my breath away...And now I'm speechless...Great work and good luck! wow...
God bless,
~Praise~

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I really love the raw and powerful emotion in this. I hope to hell it isn't personal and if it is God bless. I have been there too. I am glad you know you will survive
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Eep. Back ground makes it a little hard to read.
S2L2 too much to take
Beautiful here. The rhyme was light and not killing with forcefulness. The feeling.. It's raw.
Great job and good luck in the contest.
-Le -
Wow. I love this. I really like the part about the scent.
Good Job!


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Great Writing this is! absolutely love the defiance not to give in as bad as things get. Also quote me if im wrong but I would say the metaphorical meanings in this is if there is one
, is just Sublime
1 - 8 of 8






