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Losing a Winner

I left a year ago
From the life that I had known.
Living in a chaotic mess
Leaving was the best.

The constant "You will never be",
brought me back to painful reality.
I had to pack then or i never would,
Get away from the place where i never could.

Cinderella doesnt have anything on me,

At least she got to sleep.

But now that I'm free from hateful displays

I'll be a little more relaxed for the rest of my days...

 

My memories shattered but clear enough to see

I would never go back but I'd never repeat.

Getting away was the greatest thing I've done,

Because when I walked out I felt like I won.

Author notes

option one

A contest entry

its w/e

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 15 of 15

  • FloridaGatorQueen silver member
    July 17, 2008

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    This is an awesome poem. I like your message. I mean nobody needs to be told they won't amount to nothing. Enjoyed the read! Thank you for entering my contest.

  • goalsv
    July 11, 2008

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    A good rhythem to this lookinto your heart. The struggles we go through can make us stronger and yours seem to have done just that.


  • grannyeri gold member
    July 10, 2008

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    Liked the flow, rhythm and rhyme in these lines; heartfelt and easy to read and understand. There are times when we just have to leave, cut the ties because if we don't we get swept under and who knows when we would come again. Sentiments well expressed in these lines - fels good to get it out and not keep it inside. Keep writing... Glad to be your new AP grandma

    Granny


  • tawk gold member
    July 4, 2008

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    Hood-Wink!

    Ohhh such a sad and painful write. Sometimes we all need to step back and take a break from life. You are a very strong person always have faith in yourself. You are a very talented writer keep up the amazing writing. Theresa p.s. you will be in my prayers


  • dustookie2
    July 4, 2008

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    Hood Winked!

    Part of life is knowing when to cut strings in order to be free. You have captured the emotional side of life .. the feeling of being trapped and the difficult decision to make the move. The lines just draw in the reader to the depth and sorrow of the situation you have presented. I hope you have found the balance you seek and there is room in your heart for a smile. Remember tomorrow is a new day and life is for living .... now go live. Congratulations on the green bling.......welcome back


  • Manda Kathryn Greeters member
    July 4, 2008

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    Hood Wink!

    Unusually sad, my heart breaks as I feel the pain you express well in this ... I do not know if this is personal but it reads as and is great.

    Congrats on the HM
    ♥
    Stay safe
    ~Manda


  • sailor ptolema
    July 4, 2008

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    HOOD WINKED!!!

    HELLO!!!
    wow, this is a terribly poignant write! There are things in life that just call for change, and sometimes you have to make terribly hard decisions.
    a truly heartfelt write, it pulled out at my heartstrings

    ~welcome to the poetic bandit family!!

    Sailor Ptolema


  • Dark Otter
    July 3, 2008

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    Hoodwinked!

    Welcome to the Poetic Bandits family. Hopefully, we'll give you the love and recognition that you deserve. Its not always easy to write, somtimes you need a thick skin or just walk away.


  • Lady Altheia gold member
    July 3, 2008

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    Hoodwinked

    Sometimes family sucks and it is better if you can pick your family through your friends. There is that saying that goes, "your friends are the family you choose."


  • PhoenixFaith
    July 3, 2008

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    Hoodwinked

    This is a great piece, and I also can relate to it. I really don't have anything critical about this piece. It is a great piece and very enjoyable to read. I like the rhyming also very nice touch to the poem. Great work and keep it up.

    Always write from the heart
    NEver give up
    Kate


  • Simply Simple
    July 3, 2008

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    HOODWINKED!

    Wow... This is great! Very easy to relate to and just overall great. I really loved the last line. That brought everything together wonderfully.

    Thanks for sharing.


  • Elle Kaye
    July 3, 2008

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    Hood-Winked!

    Wonderful piece! If this is written in relation to a real life event, and not just for the contest, i assure you i know exactly how you feel. I can relate so well to this! congratulations on the HM!


  • Sharcu silver member
    July 3, 2008

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    Hood-Winked!

    Wow! This is definitely the style of poetry I love reading. I love the rhyming and how it flows well from one line to the next with your punctuation and how the words aren't cliche, but are creative rhymes. I like the emotional side of the poem, and think you deserved more than just an honorable mention But congratulations on getting the trophy and thanks for sharing the poem!


  • CountryCousin
    June 28, 2008

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    You certainly did describe.

    You certainly did describe what it is like to be free of something that weighing you down. I think most of us do that in our lives, but it takes special courage to walk away and that makes you a winner.


  • Kelli Marie
    June 25, 2008

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    A great take on the option. I like where you took this, you did a great job. Good luck in the contest.
    Kelli

1 - 15 of 15