sunlight streaming across your skin
becomes a buttermilk spilt vision
a kaleidoscope of all you've been
and all that really isn't
you play with light unconsciously
yet all the same while giving
you keep your inner self at bay
and think you're really living
it's just your way
and a bittersweet one
though it drives me insane
and i wish i could stay
watching you glisten
in truth i think it's going to rain
besides... you never listen
Author notes
Nine -
Bob Dylan's quote:
“Everybody is even making love or else expecting rain”
Artist unknown
A contest entry
- Bob Dylan Quote Inspiration by Naridill.
650 points, ended July 9, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Could you please offer credit with the quote in notes [& picture if known].
I adore the imagery here - I feel you have really given this piece a heart beat and the motion really drives itself together. I feel it eases off the strength of words towards end and doesn't have a powerful ending but the mood is nicely set.
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i really like the first two stanzas. "buttermilk split vision" is an interesting turn of phrase, and i like the unexpected rhyme of "vision" and "isn't." when the rhythm gets changed up in the third stanza, though, it loses me a little, and "drives me insane" is perhaps a little too idiomatic for a poem that is otherwise pretty...well...poetic. i do like "listen" and "glisten," though, and the whole poem feels like a sigh.
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Stunnning! Nothing else to say except give an encore dear!
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Eloquence...
Thought-provoking and eloquent... I love the imagery. The poem hints to a story behind it... good take on the quote! -
Hey X]
Awesome write! ^.^
you're wicked talented. ^.^
Keep it up, ne? =D
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Punctuation is for sissys.
I don't do it myself. Its like, ryhming. I only do it when forced. lol Even then...
I loved it. This is going to sound weird but reminds me of a parable. There is a nice story but if you are emotinally experienced enough you will catch the deeper meaning. I loved it. 
Great read.
Yink
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Mhmm, you probably want to add which quote.
The imagery here is fantastic. Personally, I would have preferred it to have punctuation and capitalization, but that's just me, and this may be your style..
The last line says it all.
-Les
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