Rifle shots to mourn
beneath softly crying clouds-
Hero, rest in peace
Author notes
Self-Explanatory
Best and worst aspects.
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Very sad haiku. I love haikus because it gives you just enough room to say something very deep and expressive in just a short poem. I can feel the emotion and it tugs at my soul to think about all of the soldiers that have died for this country and all over the world.
Superbly penned my friend, beautiful write! -
it is very self-explanatory. thank you for sharing this with me today and i am looking forward to reading more from you in the very near future. i wish i could say so much in so few words. viyanna rosemarie
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I've been to my share of Military funerals, and this explains what they have all been like. The sun may have shining, but the clouds and trees, even the flowers shed their tears.
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this is fantastic.
so much is said in so few words. i never normally read haikus, but this makes me want to read more! i'm literally left in awe - this is such a powerful poem, it holds so much emotion and really captivates the reader. i also love the title, it really caught my attention and pulled me in.
thank you, i truly enjoyed reading this excellent write.
ElectricBloom
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Short, to the point and oh so full of emotion. This poem has layers of hidden meaning locked away in it's letters. It was a simple, daunting haiku with a theme that many wouldn't catch right away, even though you say 'self-explanatory.' Great job and great write.
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You used some very powerful words to give
a real punch to this short poem. I think it
says just enough, powerful and to the point. -
powerful, but too short
a shiver went up my spine because i have family fighting overseas, this is a beautiful piece of work, but being haiku it is far too short to really get all of the emotion just right. i do like it though
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I am going to have to agree with Keep on sewing here. I love the last line. I think it is the best line. I really enjoyed this haiku that you have penned here. Short, yes, but emotions? Uh-huh! Very sad but you did a very beautiful job with it. Well done. I look forward to reading so much more from you!
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Very very simple and short[yes I know it's a Haiku]. But I think it says all that has to be said. It's very good, and sad. The last line is the best. It's good.
Like fallen.xx.angel said, it holds a lot of emotions in it. I like the way you used "softly crying clouds". This is very nice. Thank you for sharing. Keep writing.
~S~
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Saddness of letting go of a great hero of war. Less words here fill ones heart and soul with so much feeling. Letting go it hard..but we must in the physical form, but never within our souls...lovely, thanks for sharing
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It's short, but it still holds a lot of emotion in it. Great description
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