Watching the stars, she spends the night
Singing the same sad song, trying to sleep
Her eyes refuse to close cause he's out of her sight
Holding her head down, losing strength and preparing to weep
She must be crying silently letting her silence speak
Hearing these silent words, night fell asleep
But she's still awake, hopeless and weak
Weaker than weakness itself and hurt so deep.
A contest entry
- Break my heart and make me cry by God is my reality.
900 points, ended August 11, 2008, 79 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Imagery by owlish.
900 points, ended September 25, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
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i like it and can relate. its hard for me to sleep. i wake up every few hours with a bad dream and i i can do is weep.
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aww
This is a very cute, but sad write... You did a great job... Good luck in my contest and keep up the great work1
Shannon*Leah
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I Like it!
I really like the 1st part(lines 1-5). It kinda reminds me of hiw a friend felt -
once again a lovley poem,
i really like the first line, a very touching poem
well done
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Oh this is so sad
Broken hearts the feeling of dieing from the inside out and feeling like their is no future without them only to wake and find the future holds so much more and shows us what we thought was love becomes only a bad memory for the real love was brought forth and you were free to excepts its wonders
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you've penned some deep emotion in this one
it's as if you are crying out to the reader for them to listen
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alot of emotion i like that, it sounds really sad
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Wow this is a beautiful poem so full of meaning and emotion. "Holding her head down,losing strength and preparing to weep, She must be crying silently letting her silence speak" Wonderful!
~dawn♥ -
She must be crying silently letting her silence speak
Hearing these silent words,night fell asleep
Deep lines, hold deeper meaning than it seems once you take the time to read it carefully. It's so sad yet so beautiful.
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awe, this poem seems so sweet! it has nice simplicity to it. you make the readers want to keep reading it from the very beginning. "she must be crying silently letting her silence speak".. that was my favorite line, but i loved the whole thing! =D lolz from a fellow group member!
-Peanut Butter Fudge =D
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This is cool. i like the first line the most. Great poem keep writing!
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Good write here
"She must be crying silently letting her silence speak
Hearing these silent words,night fell asleep "
These are my fav lines
Thanks for droppin by
Ken
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great write,nice use of rhyme,thanks for entering.
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thank you for entering and obeying the rules (author notes) This is a lovely poem.
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0.o
This is a REALLY good poem.
Best of luck in my contest, I would give clappy's, but I'm not gonna play favorites until I judge.
KEEP WRITING!
~Annie Shadows
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Oh I know exactly how this feels. To not be able to sleep over heartbreak. V.V Ah, the magic of Melatonin.. lol
"Weaker than weakness itself and hurt so deep."
I like this line a lot. It's very expressive and meaningful.
Wonderful job and good luck on the contest[s]. ^_^
-Lily♥
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wow,I like the way you expressed feelings so strongly,thanks for entering!
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Dude, this is great. Y is it so great. Because You are so descriptive and there is so much imagery. The poem flows so well. No joke. Great rhythm. The rhyme scheme isn't forced. There is just something magical about this. Great job, and good luck. You are my final list! Good luck in the contest, and truly beautiful write
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These words touched me to the core. I live them day in and day out. Short, sweet and straight to the point. Very nicely done. Thank you
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Chilling
Wow once again wonderful. This made me have cold chills I have felt like this when I was dating a soldier and not knowing where he was and how he was, just that he was in Iraq killed me and made it a dream to be able to sleep. Wonderful write keep up the good work.
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wow this is so AWSOME AND YOU KNOW IT
it's so awsome i mean it i mean it -
Excellent
I know of these long sleepless nights and you have written of them well. I enjoyed your write. Well done, indeed. Billy Rob
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Excellent
I liked the image of night falling asleep and the sense of heartache in this poem, you really feel sad for her. This poem has a great sense of sadness. I liked the rhyme scheme and thought it flowed very well. This is well- written and articulate.
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Thank you.
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purdy
very very pretty, and anyone who's ever been there can attest to how this feels. GB -
very interesting
Hello Anan k. a very deep, mature poem..soul stirring words,
roy-rahbar. -
BEAUTIFUL
a slow sweet rhyme of loneliness and missing that someone special...for within the silence the heart doews speak...thank you kindly for sharing your thoughts with me
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very emotional.
Hello Anan K, a deep, mature poem...very interesting.
Rahabr. -
oh my gosh, that was hot... good! ya rhymes are sick! good job. oh and could you give me some pointers on writing. read some more of my poems. make sure you read "from a lie to the future"
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Welcome To Allpoetry
Hello Anan K.,
This was such a emotional write.. You did awonderful job in expressing yourself and your emotions.. The only suggestion I would make is to maybe darken the font? I had to highlight the words to read them.. But that's only a suggestion.. though this was a sad read you did a wonderful job.. Thank you very much for sharing with us here on Allpoetry.. I hope to read much more from you in the near future.. Keep up the good work!!
Jetleena
Site Greeter. -
aww this is good
great job
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