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Silence never made me better

Tonight I'm back again,
watching you across
the bar, my stares betraying
me as I try to hide,
scared and shy
once more. Each stolen
glance takes my breath away,
your astounding beauty
sucking the air
right from my lungs,
and the smoke
doesn't help.

I would drown myself
just to see you happy.

Author notes

I love you oz.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • Rayne Dance
    October 1

    Edit | Reply

    INTENSE!

    Wow! That was intense!! For a short little poem its got spunk kid! If you want you can enter another poem, since it is a 2 entry max contest, to improve chances of winning. Try a newly written poem this time. My contest is hard to match to a prewritten one... I ALSO LOVE NEW MATERIAL!! Try the next one about what kinda stuff you would do for me if i was your girl... How would you treat me better than other guys? Tell me about the crazy romantic things you would do for me because I'm your perfect girl!! GOOD LUCK!!!


    • Akarian silver member
      October 1
      Edit | Reply
      I'll see if I can come up with anything today at work, glad you like this though, I thought you might.


  • Pretty Girl
    March 5

    Edit | Reply

    I love it

    There is alot of feeling in this poem. Very romantic and sweet. I would drown myself just to see you happy that is my favorite part. Very well written would love to read more...

    • Akarian silver member
      March 5
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks. =) I get a few gems to come out every now and then. =P


  • Beautiful-N-Broken silver member
    February 17

    Edit | Reply
    The ending of this is so sweet. Showing that you would go as far as to drown yourself for the happiness of someone you care for. Great write.

    • Akarian silver member
      February 18
      Edit | Reply
      Heh, wow, thanks. And Wow, thanks for adding me as a favorite!


  • kristina85
    February 1
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem


  • heartbrokenmoon
    January 14
    Edit | Reply
    ohh that is so cute and its so touching love the poem


  • GiftedPsychosis gold member
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    This is so SWEET!!!
    I loooove it!
    You're such a gooood writer.
    And this, this is just amazing!!!!


  • XBeautiful MistakeX
    June 25, 2008

    Edit | Reply
    OMGawsh! This is sooooo sweet!!! I freakin LOVE it!!! thank you so much for entering. Now Im off to your page to check you out!!!

    Oz

    • Akarian silver member
      June 25, 2008
      Edit | Reply
      Thanks! I'm glad you like it, good luck judging!

1 - 13 of 13