we started with lies
deceptions between us
i covered them over
so you wouldn't see them
i found it to hard
to be open,to believe
that false first impression
could mean anything
with all the untruths
and all the white lies
love it grew strong there
some how it survived
if i was to come forward
to finally confess
tell you the truth
get it all of my chest
what would you say
and what would you do
how much would it change
for me and for you
could you forgive me
and could you forget
the lies that i told you
and the false images
would you still have me
let me back in
into your heart
and under your wing
could we still have
all that we shared
the life that we talked of
the love in our hearts
A contest entry
- give me your pain. by aanika.
525 points, ended July 2, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
-
this is such a lovely introspection of your feelings in a relationship an understanding how you need to understand your own heart to understand love even when we make mistakes with some body. I think you really captured a deep self discovery in this while making it about a couple. WTG!!!
-
needs punctuation.
some good images.
rhyming isn't consistent.
feeling is pretty good.
not too much pain here.
not enough emotion.
edits?
-
the first two and second two lines in the first stanza say the same thing.
second stanza first line "to" should be "too"
Third stanza "love it grew strong there" , the word it, is out of place, maybe just love grew strong there
I like the ideals of this peom. This is the reason why you shouldnt lie. You get in too deep and then cant find your way out. I think that the moral of ths story is that at this point, honesty is the best policy. Even if the love is lost, atleast you'll know you ddi the right thing.
Criss
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