Children Forever
Take picture after picture,
with the camera of your eyes.
Place them neatly in the
album of your heart, so wise.
Return to the album,
year by year.
To recall the times,
so precious and dear.
Etch the memories,
in the stone of time.
Memories so wondrous,
priceless and sublime.
Etched in diamonds,
most precious of their kind.
Just as memories,
are diamonds of the mind.
Saved for the times,
when grown and far apart.
But never any farther,
than in your loving heart.
Author notes
By ~ Maxboy
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Even a single laugh contains many pictures to remember.
Background ~ Children Forever ~ By ~ Riftkin
Image~by~`imogene~deviantART
Form ~ Freestyle Rhyme
Gold,Bronze(2),HM(7)
In a list
- Hope • next in list
- LIFE • next in list
- Love • next in list
- #1~Trophies ~ GOLD • next in list
- #3~Trophies ~ BRONZE • next in list
A contest entry
- Picture inspired- But you choose the picture!! by Lady Michaella.
425 points, ended July 5, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I'm looking for favourites!!! :) by Luckintheshadows.
625 points, ended July 11, 2008, 37 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Set your muse and mine- lot of options by poetic-enigma21.
450 points, ended August 6, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites? Sure! by xCandieKissesx.
300 points, ended August 29, 2008, 41 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - This Is Me by Jasmine Rayne.
1100 points, ended August 30, 2008, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2008 by Kimojuno.
1447 points, ended October 8, 2008, 40 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your Best Poem Ever! by PianoMan.
1000 points, ended November 28, 2008, 21 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
PLEASE COMMENT ~ SO I CAN LEARN
Comments
-
Great Poem!!
Thank you so much for sharing this with me
-
-
Thank you very much for your great comment.
-
-
AWWW this is so sweet!
I love this piece. Beautifully written. Great rhyme and flow!
Bravo!!!
♥ Kate
-
-
Thank you very much for the applause and beautiful comment, I am pleased you liked my write.
-
-
very nice keep it up.....
-
-
Thank you for your wonderful comment, I hope you enjoyed it.
-
-
Aww, this was a priceless beauty.
Such sweet thoughts entwined
within & truly heartfelt.
Thanks for entering & best of luck
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
-
-
Lovely.....Beautiful. That is all I can say It took my breath away.
Etched in diamonds,
most precious of their kind.
Just as memories,
are diamonds of the mind.
Words Worth Remembering.
Thanks for The Entry.
Kathryn -
-
Thank you very much for your beautiful comment, I am very happy you enjoyed my write.
-
-
I love this....
It's a very true and lovely poem...
Thank you for entering my contest!!!
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
-
-
Etched like diamonds...children are a gift allright and cherished as such...beautiful write.
-
-
Thank you for all your kind words and the encouragement they bring.
-
-
Excellent
It was fun but you got me beat
May Gd bless you and your awesome talent
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my write.
-
-
Lovely, well written, deserving of all its trophies.
-
-
Thank you very much for your comment, I am happy you enjoyed my poem.
-
-
I adore this piece. The rhyme flowed so well, I didn't even realize it was rhyming at first. Excellent and I loved the meaning.
"Etched in diamonds,
most precious of their kind.
Just as memories,
are diamonds of the mind."
By far my favorite stanza. Thank you for entering.
-
-
Thank you very much for your beautiful comment, I am very pleased you enjoyed my write.
-
-
Beautiful and oh so true. It seems the older we get the faster the time goes by. Memories are a great gift to be past on to all those we love. Our memories are priceless. Love the smiling little girl.
Very nice write Luv.
-
-
Thank you for the beautiful comment, I agree and I am happy you liked my write.
Love
-
-
This is so precious the child is a darling.
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am happy you enjoyed my poem.
-
-
This is beautiful. I really enjoyed reading this, and I hope you join in my contests, I'd love to see what you could create!
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment, you didn't need to comment, I sent it to you because you are such a proud new mom. I would love to join your contests but my plate is a little full with previous commitments. If something changes, I will see if one is still open.
Thank You
Don
-
-
This is a beautiful poem. Life moves along at a much more rapid pace than we would often like. All we can do is store the pictures of happy memories in our hearts forever. Great job and thanks for entering my contest!
-
-
Thank you so much for the Honorable Mention, I am very pleased you enjoyed my poem so much.
Thank You
Don
-
-
It is a great thing the camera, and now we have digital cameras so we need never lose these precious memories. Nice job here and congrats on the trophies. thank you for entering
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
Touching!
This is so sweet & oh so true. Time passes far too quickly when watching a child grow. I try capturing as many photos (with my eyes & camera) as possible. Nice write. Peace- Syah
-
-
Thank you for your nice comment and applause, I am glad you enjoyed it.
-
-
This is a very pleasant read. And the picture of the child on the side is just precious. Thanks for sharing this lovely write and thanks for entering this into my contest.
-
-
Thank you for your very nice comment.
-
-
I really like this! One suggestion : you don't have to put punctuation after every single line. :] just to let you know!
luck and love,
wesley. -
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and the help on punctuation.
Don
-
-
Ty for entering Good Luck.
-
-
Thank you very much for your comment.
-
-
This is sweet. It's a really nice message and I can see how it won all the previous trophies. Thanks so much for entering and best of luck!
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
Wonderful-I enjoy this poem, thank you for entering it into the contest. I appreciate it a lot.
Jeff. -
-
Thank you so much for the Bronze Trophy, I am so happy, it means a great deal to me that you enjoyed my poem so much.
Thank You
Don
-
Thank you very much for the comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my poem.
Don
-
-
My!!! I've never seen so many pre-write entries in my life, I try not to do pre-writes , so this contest is an experiment as well, but having read this, there is a lot of hope from a parent/guardian point of view. What makes me feel you are very proud of this piece. I wish I had the nerve to enter mine many times, best wishes, T
-
-
Thank you very much for the applause and wonderful comment.
-
-
That is sweet. I love the little school girl giggling!!!
-
-
Thank you so much for the applause and wonderful comment. I am happy you enjoyed it.
-
-
The rhyme was well done. As well asl the flow. Written from the perspective of a loveing parent or guardian. you did a great job.
-
-
Thank you for your wonderful comment, I am happy you enjoyed my poem.
-
-
Thanks, this is one of my favorites!
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed it.
-
-
what a cute poem! its really sweet thanks for the entry and best of luck!
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
the rhyming is excellent and the poem really great. i didnt get a great 'feeling' tho. i really wanted emotions... but nicely done. good luck in my contest!
<3 Cena -
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
OH wow i loved this poem. the rhyming flowed elegantly and the words are so true. It put a smile in my heart. thank u for entering and good luck in my contest.
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
This is well written, and beautiful, I'll give you that. Even one gold trophy winner and three honourable mentions, one bronze... That shows how good it is.
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
-
-
What a wonderful poem!! I really enjoyed the read.
-
-
Thank you so much for the applause and wonderful comment. I am happy you enjoyed it.
Don
-
-
This is a very bright and beautiful write, it puts a smile on my face with its sweet, loving vibe.
well done
- Katie
-
-
Thank you very much Katie, I am very happy you enjoyed it.
Thanks Again
Don
-
-
This is a sweet write.
Children are adorable.
I really like the background which you have used. It enhances your poem's message.
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
The background was made by my friend Riftkin, she's fantastic.
Thanks Again
Don
-
-
Such sweet sentiments here..I liked your clever wording and imagery that made this poem flow smoothly. There were a couple places where the rhyme seemed forced, but rhyming is a difficult task. One which you've done well here, while managing to make a connection with the reader.
-
-
Thank you so much for your comment, I am pleased you enjoyed my poem.
Thank You
Don
-
-
I like it. I only comment on the ones I like, and this one is nice. It seems like that's the only time in your life when you're really happy, even if it is only because you don't realize what is going on around you.
-
-
Thank you very much for the applause and the wonderful comment.
-
-
This poem is so sweet, and the background and tag gives it such a childish feel to it. This is beautiful!
Thank you for sharing this -
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment.
Don
-
-
Such a great poem! I really loved your rhyme scheme and the background really fitted what you were talking about. I'd be proud if I were you
Congratulations and good luck in the contest.
Chin up,
Swim.x
'Saved for the times,
when grown and far apart.
But never any farther,
than in your loving heart.' -
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and complement. Yes, I am very proud of this poem.
Thanks Again
Don
-
-
VERY GOOD!
i really love this poem.
i would have to say the first stanza is my favorite.
but that's not to say the rest weren't amazing. lol.
thx for entering and good luck in the contest..
-
-
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment.
Thank you for the contest.
Don
-
-
very nice write, thank you for entering
-
-
Thank you for the nice comment.
Don
-
-
I love the background it drew me straight to the poem with was adorable.
A delightful poem and i wish you all the best in the contest.
Rose
-
-
Thank you very much for the comment and applause.
Don
-
-
My official review of your poem in the contest. Because this is a 'final' contest, I am feel I should be as strict as I can be in looking over every aspect of the poetry presented. I have never claimed to be an expert in any of the categories, however I have been learning a great deal over the last few months. Not only did I want to challenge you [the poet] but myself as a judge.
Below I've made the ruling/score in regards to the points. If you disagree with any of my reasoning please 'reply' to the comment made – with “Challenge” and explain where you feel my assessment is wrong, if I agree with your argument I will change the score. I'm never to proud to admit when I'm wrong. If I feel I am still correct I will bring in a 2nd judge to make the final decision to a change. This final judge will be through my grammar group.
Your Scores:
Finalist -- 0/10 points - I'm glad you were able to join us in the final round, I wish you were with us in the earlier rounds. I wish I could give you the points for a prior finalist, but in all fairness I can not.
Use of Prompt - 25/25 Points – Timeless – I do think that photographs is a unique thought in regards to the prompt. We look at them every day, even the 'old' ones from centuries before, as it carries history with it. Excellent choice.
Poetic Form – 20/20 points – This is regards to the actual structure of the poem. I couldn't figure out which style you were using. Looking at the form, it looks like it is set as a rhyming free write. I didn't think using this style enhanced the poem as much as it could had using a different style - 5. However, the 'flow of the read' sounds quite lovely if you read it out-loud +5.
Use of Grammar - 10/10 Points – Perfect – I couldn't find anything in this area.
Spelling - 10/10 points - Perfect!
Overall Presentation 20/25 points – You captured my attention from the minute I clicked on the page. However, after reading the poem, [and even said in the poem] I would had enjoyed seeing the progression of family photos. The pictures, the background, the font and the font color all created an alluring looking to the page to make anyone want to read this. I enjoyed the message you give in your poem – of how we can go back and remember that can bring a smile to our face.
Your total score is 85
I do appreciate your participation. It was a welcome pleasure to read and review your work. I think you did a fabulous job!
Best of luck to you,
Florida Sunshine
-
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment and very detailed review of my poem.
Thanks Again
Don
-
-
Great poem. Thank you so much for entering. Good luck in both my contest and future contests.
-
-
Thank you for the comment and your support.
Don
-
-
This is a beautiful write.
"Etched in diamonds,
most precious of their kind.
Just as memories,
are diamonds of the mind."
I love that. Your word choice is great. Thank you so much for entering.
-Lily♥ -
-
Thank you so much for the Honorable Mention, it really does mean a lot to me.
Thanks Again
Don
-
Lily
Thank you so much for your wonderful comment and kind words. I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Don
-
-
this was very lovely i dont think that is much that could be fixed i loved the entire theme
best of luck
--kat -
-
Thank you very much for your wonderful comment.
Thanks
Don
-
-
Wow; this was just so beautiful.
Loved the emotion, flow & rhyme..
it all came together perfectly.
Loved this piece.
Thanks for entering -
-
WOW!!! Is right, thank you so much for the GOLD TROPHY, I am so happy.
I am so pleased you liked my poem so much. What a present you have given me.
Thanks Again
Don
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, I am pleased you enjoyed it.
Thanks Again
Don
-
-
this is really wonderful
i love it, its all so true,
good luck in this contest and the other ones
-
-
Thank you very much for the wonderful comment.
Don
-
-
Aww such a wonderful theme, you've penned this with a lot of feeling and it shows 'camera of your eyes' is a wonderful way of putting it. The only blip, and it is just my personal taste, is repeating words, but as I say I know thats just me
a superb read, good luck
-
-
Thank you for the wonderful comment.
Don
-
-
nice write
-
-
Thank You for the comment.
Don
-
-
Wow, that is wonderful! It happens to be very different than the poems I have commented on! I especially enjoyed,
"Memories so wondrous,
priceless and sublime.
Etched in diamonds,
most precious of their kind". Good work!
-Peanut Butter Fudge (luvs ya & yar poem!)=D -
-
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment, I am so pleased you liked it.
Thanks
Don
-
Adding your comment:
