Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read Contests Groups Learn Forums Store Help
 

A Love Dying

I search myself but I am empty
I call for help but no one hears me...
I lay in bed but sleep won't come
left alone I grab the gun

Life is cheap and so am I
lost and hurt I will not cry,
I put the barrel to my head
you won't miss me when I'd dead

I'm sorry that I hurt you so
I think its best if I just go,
take my hand for one last time
now and forever you're always mine.

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression? Line numbers
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?) (Line numbers)

Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Moondragoon
    August 30
    ?
    Edit | Reply
    OMFG!!!
    this is a really deep poem and yet its painful in my heart. but i like it
    Great job Dusty!!clappy*
    ~Moonchild~
    *oh btw here is my pic i know i look silly enjoy it!!

  • AmyPixiDust
    August 8

    Edit | Reply
    OmG
    i really hope you dont feel ike this anymore, you wrote this a while ago,
    and it made me cry, its so deep and emotional
    keep writing,
    ~ love you Always Amy

  • Burgess
    August 1
    Edit | Reply

    Wow, this is so deep! I love it!
    Your flow in this poem was spectactular!


  • Daisuke
    July 16

    Edit | Reply
    Hm. The last two lines, I can’t seem to connect the two with the rest of the poem. Maybe I’m just not seeing it eye to eye nor anywhere near your angle. . But it could flow with more passion. Raw is what I mean, it could be articulated a lot stronger. Gallant. Still, I have yet to read a upright free style writing in such a long time. I respect your work. I respect you. Not as refined, but emotions expressed in a decent way.

    Grand Job.

    Babi.
  • this scares me a little but its great dusty


  • Chrysalis
    June 29

    Edit | Reply
    lovely and flowing with rhymes. So emotional and a bit sad,.. so so sad *sigh* but.. I liked it so much. Every stanza, was overflowing with emotions... and that made me love it even more.
    blessed be
    -Blanche


  • LadyLuff
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    aww this is so emotional and lovely i liked this alot but it was soo sad
    but great write
  • I will miss you....you promise not to hurt me...I have your hand in mine..and I'm not letting go anytime soon...
  • ...
    I'm refraining from giving you my opinion of the MEANING of the poem because I know you already know what that is. And if you don't...it shouldn't be hard to figure out.

    Aside from that...the poem in all was great. The rhyming, structure, the ending was great...just the meaning...and I hope you NEVER do this..I love you too much for you to do something like this and I don't know what I'd do without you. I love you


  • ily


  • candyknife
    June 25
    Edit | Reply
    terrible...

  • NyteShade
    June 25

    Edit | Reply
    Such a sad yet beautiful piece of poetry Dustin. You have a few mistakes though that you might want to correct. I don't agree with the second stanza though, your not cheap and they would miss you. nice work

1 - 12 of 12