It hurts, you know, and sometimes, like today, I let my façade drop,
Showing you the inner me, the pained and true blue me.
You were afraid, afraid of the truth, afraid of the picture that
You could see before you, in full, but faded color- an old Polaroid.
When you saw it, you knew that this might be the end and planned accordingly.
You talked to me and listened, when no one else really ever has in my life.
It made me feel good to know that someone, even just one person,
Still cared about me deeply enough to say those things to me,
Even if I were to find out that they were untrue later.
But the fact was plain and simple that what you saw in me, that raw
Pain, it- man, it scared you, and I saw how badly it did.
I tried to suck it up, and I tried to put it away, lock it up
Like the mournful beast it was. I tried to run, and hide, but you,
You stopped me, grabbing me gently by the arm and telling me
That hurting is okay, hurting can help us learn to be strong.
That's when I broke down, and all those questions that I always dodged,
The ones that would've led you to get to know me better, them I answered.
I cried my heart out, in anger, fear and shame, and slowly, but surely
Answered all your deepest questions: Why do you run like this?
Why can't you talk to me? What did I do to lose the trust I never even gained?
I run because I can, because it's the one thing about myself
That I can control, and won't talk because it hurts to let anyone in.
You held me, tight to your chest and told me everything would be alright,
Wondering just what was in my past that made me so distrustful and so... haunted.
The answer I gave you shocked you, rocked you to your core,
And you stared at me, silently forming the one question that you
Were now afraid to ask: Why didn't you tell someone?
The answer isn't short, but rather, very complex, something that you, yourself,
Would've had to have been there to witness, for the pain is too much
To put to words, and therefore, you would have had to feel it yourself.
In that moment, you later told me that you realized what made me tick.
I am not only tough, but nearly invincible, and I have seen most of the worst;
You said that I am honorable and admirable and that, if I could've had it
Any other way, I shouldn't change a thing because it's the past that makes a person.
You realized that I was a saddened soul, who had had no one, what-so-ever
To turn to growing up, and now, you had a purpose in your life,
Where you really have never had one before.
Your sole purpose, now, is to be there for me, to be the one person
Who will pull out all the stops in my heart and free my soul.
Author notes
Sometimes I wish I had someone like the person described to lean upon fully, someone of my own to say that they loved me faithfully.
I don't mean for this to sound like I wish harm upon the relationships that have gone great and are solid, but it would be a dream come true for me.
Um, meaning up for interpretation....
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Very strong emotion here, I like the description. The way you wrote this one, it didn't need meter or form or rhyme, it's expressive and deep.
It's always just amazing how much poetry portrays the inside of a person, things you don't see on their outside. Sometimes the words that come out of a person's soul don't always coincide with their visual facade.
Good write, it really shows a part of you you're hyper-dorky (meant as a compliment, not an insult) outside doesn't always get across..
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Oh no insult taken. I understand exactly what you mean. Thank you for the comment!
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ahhh...we can all relate to these words...you have done a fantastic job describing your feelings from your point of view...great writing...I like dyour poem very much...Thanks for sharing...keep upi the great work...peace and light, Kendal
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wow this is so powerful, it really speaks to the soul and shows you what it's like for someone in this position, someone who just wants to run away and be loved. you did an awesome job!
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Thank you for commenting. This particular piece came from a time period when I looked around me and it seemed the world had someone to call theirs....
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this dooj
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I'm sorry?
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You opened up your real desires and wants, your real fantasies and turned your past and your future into a semi-fictional account of life. It's rewarding to read someones true thoughts, and to delve into their true heart.
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what was the answer to why they were so distrustful??? curiosity at my best,lol
good write btw -
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abuse that she never told anyone about
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